Maybe because of the Lozada factor?

I myself remembered a fundamental truth about courage. Which is that courage is not the absence of fear. It is the presence of fear, often a most crippling one, but a fear that is overcome by a heroic act of will, or by the recognition that one has no choice but to do what is right. That is what Rodolfo Lozada has done.
- Condrado De Quiros

When I was young, my father ran for councilor in a small town where our surname was a household name. My fondest memories are of those when we visit the "barrio" and it would seem like major celebrities just paid them a visit. During that certain election year, I vividly remember parading around our green beat-up Volkswagen and giving out candies and hand-printed flyers. My father had the slogan "Maka-Diyos, Maka-Tao" and it was cool for me back then because it rhymed with our family name. So I kept on shouting it when we do little political soirées at the town plaza.

My father didn't have stickers, large banners and fancy gimmicks. He rode the carabao and went house to house. We were almost certain he would win. My clan owned more than half of the land there, most people were indebted to my Lolo and Lola, and most of all, people liked him because he is sincere and hardworking. But then he lost.

There were talks of cheating, but my father accepted the defeat. He was told to run again in the next election, but he didn't. He never ran ever again. Years later, I would learn that the people my father expected to vote for him were bought by the other inept candidates for a measly P20.00. It was my first taste of how politics can be.

So I think I acquired an unconscious political phobia. In school, I disliked the mere mention of my name in class election nominations. I never voted for myself either. When I win, I sulk then I do a lousy job. I'm so weird. It's the notion that I won because somehow I cheated with having more friends in the classroom, or my mother donating the new curtains, or being the teacher's pet, or simply because most of the kids were afraid of me (I was a big girl afterall). It just stuck on my mind that winning in an election constitutes cheating and we eventually elect inept individuals.

I look at Jun Lozada now, with the people dragged in this controversy and the many controversies before that, and cannot help but to think if I'm right? And because I have too much time on my hands, I was able to watch the senate probe on Lozada's alleged kidnapping. I look at the pool of the senators and some of them ask funny, inappropriate, and almost stupid unrelated questions. I look at the slew of government officers being dragged in controversies one after the other, as if it was another day at the office. I wonder how many of our government officials actually do their work?

School days suddenly remembered. Did we vote for a certain person because he was a friend? He was good-looking? He was an award-winning actor? Paid us P500? Donated curtains?

Looking at the government that we have now, I ask a question: have we failed, then?

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Has it been THAT long already?

After receiving a text message from Maika a couple of weeks ago asking me why my blog suddenly went bullocks, it was only tonight that I realized what she meant. The images of my lay-out apparently are not loading properly, so I'm stuck with this basic template until I find time to fix my blog. My links and communities will be put up some other time as well.

Hmmm.

I was actually shocked to learn that I haven't blogged in exactly one month, thirteen days and four hours (correct me if I'm wrong, I'm horribly bad at numbers). You see, I have a confession to make: I haven't visited my blog in the last 4 weeks. My cyber activity in the last weeks basically includes a three-minute average visit to each of the following: Perez Hilton, Friendster, Gmail, Chuvaness (from whom I heard Gael Garcia Bernal is making a new movie and he's going to film here in Pinas!), and Mininova. Occasionally to Youtube, but only to watch Yuri Lane's Beatbox Harmonica over and over again (I secretly love Yuri. Ssshhh). Most of the times, I am surfing for lesson plans (because I'm too lazy to make my own), doing activities for my students, and making reports on their progress (which is tougher than you think, i mean what shall I write if there is no progress at all?). In short, I am slaving to feed the capitalist interest that is my work. I have let myself become ignorant to the ways of the blogging world. So I ask thee for mercy, blogger Lords.

I became 21 last August 17. It's almost hard to believe that a year has gone by so quickly again. Just so you know, faithful readers, gifts are still accepted, in cash or in kind (FOB tickets performing in Manila will be the greatest gift! LOL I heard they only have general admissions, so wag na lang. hehe). If you need my mailing address, please feel free to email me. Hahaha :) It almost always rains on my birthday, and one of the heaviest I could remember was this year. So the party was cut short by 10 PM, much to my dismay. But it was still fun. I left work with a bag of goodies which made me look like I just came from a Korean grocery. My students gave me things from canned tuna (which I heard costs about P200 if bought here in Pinas) to rice seasoning (Babirang rice seasoning rocks!). When I laid out the things they gave me, I was surprised to find a sachet of Chocquick. All I can say is, Milo still has my vote.

The results of my June 07 Licensure Exams came about a few weeks ago. Glad to announce I came through, thank God! Now I can proudly tell my grandsons and daughters their Lola is twice a registered nurse. I'm glad the leakage issue is finally brought to rest. As they say ... nakaraos din. When a friend messaged me that I passed the exam, I was walking with Maika at SM going down Session Road and I remember feeling extremely elated that my lacrimal glands erupted and gave me away. Suffice to say I cried a lot that day. I'd like to say thank you to all the people who have believed in me; friends, family and strangers alike. For all the prayers, guidance, and constant reassurance that I would make it. And if I didn't, that they would be there to hold my hand. I swear I have the best family and rockin' friends.

That's it for now. I'm off to Lala land because I have work in approximately six hours. Please say you guys still love me even though I make the suckiest blog entries and I don't visit your blogs. Because I do love all of you to smithereens.

Kisses! :)

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One day, I will be shot dead because of this blog

Yes, I'm still alive and my cyber life is still kicking ass. Let it be known that although I haven't been leaving comments in your blogs, I am reading your entries through my reader. All is not lost.

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My billable-per-hour job is keeping me busy. It is funny how friends say I am becoming Korean with every minute I spend with my kids. Minus the looks, of course. About two days ago, I was discussing Geography with a student for a conversation class. We drifted off to talking about food and I asked him what his favorite Asian food is. His eyebrows met and this is the sign where I elaborate my question AKA speak in broken English. But still, he didn't understand, and asked me what "Asia" meant.

As pronunciation is the key to this joke, let it be known that I pronounced "Asia" as any person would in English: "ey-shuh". As I am the kind of teacher who doesn't spoon-feed her students, I went on telling nearly all the Asian countries and also naming the other continents as clues. But still, nothing. I wished at that moment God would leave Iraq for a while and shower me with patience.

Until the little Korean me took hold of the discussion. I said "ah-see-yah" with complete Korean accent. And like an incandescent bulb would react in a flinch of the switch, my student finally got it.

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I have finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows last Monday. Since then, I have spent every idle moment I have in thinking what will Daniel Radcliffe look like when they film the Deathly Hallows.

We all know that nothing in this world is permanent, but it's funny when we are always taken aback when change hits us right in the face.

I can't wait to grow old. As in a 90-year-old old.

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Angel VS Devil: Cultivate the strong, cull the weak

I reluctantly went back to my old job teaching English to young Koreans. Adult world is far more complicated as I had expected, thinking I could live off with my mother's money in the next billion years. Turned out I had the innate need to work for my own money, spend it as wisely as I can (on clothes, shoes and bags) and be proud to tell everyone one I live on a paycheck-to-paycheck basis. It gives a little thrill to my rather dull and boring bratty life.

This afternoon, our newly appointed manager decided to include 'call-back' teachers (the ones who worked there previously and are granted teaching load again) to a Behavior Orientation meeting with Mr. Ahn, our company owner and president. Along the way, he asked what happened to the Philippines' economy when it was eleven times stronger than that of South Korea forty years ago. The teacher beside me said it was primarily due to the corrupt and inept officials we have. Mr. Ahn, who will later I would admire as a businessman, disagreed. He pointed out that their government is also quite corrupt. It could be a reason for the declining economy, but what sustains it?

He answers because our leader is, according to him, an ANGEL and theirs is a DEVIL. This was met with a wide range of disagreement. For one, I will never agree to an idea, even if it is as such, that GMA is flying on white wings on her little white robe. It is torture to even call her president, much more an angel.

I finally got his idea of angel/devil when he drew a triangle and said that the Philippines, as kind culture we have, tends to focus more on the people on the bottom of the pyramid, the not so good workers, while practically ignoring the 'top performers'. Now, you ask, what is the connection of this pyramid to a success of one's country?

Mr. Ahn points out that we Filipinos do not know differentiation. We tend to view everybody as equal, which is okay in a humanitarian point of view, but not on the basis of economic progress. Because of this, our 'top performers' are easily discouraged when they see that the government pays more attention to the 'not so good workers'. They (government) tend to focus more on how to alleviate the suffering of the weak and the poor, while the strong and abled are left to expand their talents somewhere else. The 'not so good workers' now tend to be so independent to 'dole outs' and would not really strive for success, as there is always somebody there to help them. It is like rewarding those who do nothing but be poor.

Korea believes the opposite. He said that in his country, the 'top performers' are rewarded far more than the others, which in turn encourages and motivates the others to be 'top performers' to enjoy such benefits. Which also tantamount to retaining skilled workers in their own country to benefit their own people. So Koreans continuously strive for perfection for they strongly believe that for success to be achieved they have to cultivate the strong and cull the weak, as barbaric as it may sound.

Made me think. I'm all for equal chances-- rich, poor, whatever. But I also do not agree in investing in something of no use. Better we develop the talents and abilities of our own people before they sell their services to foreign soil. But what do I know, I'm just a 20 year-old girl who got her ideas from a chinky-eyed businessman who cannot even speak straight English and ironically owns an international English academy.

How about you, what do you think?

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