I never wanted this.

Last night I dreamt I got married in a big, white, traditional wedding. I woke up feeling afraid not because it was a horrendous dream, but because I looked so damn happy.

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chopseuy

**for some reason i can't stop looking. seriously. it has to stop. it's getting a bit annoying already. no details here//

**i love the idea of tattoos. i was never good with changes so i like the idea of its permanence. i have been thinking of getting one on my wrist--something poetic or grand. the kind which i can tell a cool story about. but then i always hear stories about people thinking too much of what tatoo they'll gonna get and end up with idiotic stuffs inked on their bodies.

**it is chilly once again in this part of the country. i don't know, but the cold does something on people. just a couple of days ago, after too much gin, something amoral happened. to say the least, i was just a spectator, thank god. i suddenly questioned people's morality and how casual can casual get? i am trying my best here not to dive into details.

**it is funny how other people tend to complicate the meaning of love. i know someone who likes this someone but this someone has someone but is very, very, very far away. the someone i know is sooo afraid to take a risk for the someone she likes (which i think kinda likes her as well) because of his someone. i know, it's complicated like that. but really, if we are not going to take risks for anything, we would live our lives always thinking 'what if'. but this is not me talking.

**i am up at 12mn, because work got my body clock all messed up. i live in 4 different time zones, and talking about shifts is as painful as counting hours backwards all the time. Example:
Me: Do we have work on the 25th?
Officemate: None.
Me: Alrighty!
Officemate: Wait, are we talking Manila time or production time?
Me: *puzzled* I have a 12mn shift Mla time, so how is that?
Officemate: Oh you do have work.
Me: But isn't that considered as the 25th already?
Officemate: Yeah, but technically that is 24 production.
Me: I hate you.

**lately, i have been paying bills for the house, shopping for food (in the market as well!), and giving money to anyone and everyone who needs them. i can't believe how grown up that sounded. i was particularly surprised at my selflessness. but i still have to learn how to budget my money.

**how come i am sooo kilig with twilight? it's so stupid yet so kilig. i don't know why they already love each other beyond accounting after they sat next in biology class? or how they want to get married after one date? or how bella would want to give up everything after just one kiss? and somehow, i don't believe edward when he said "you have no idea how long i've waited for you'. seriously, 100 years and no woman? not even one? sige na nga!

**i know i said i'm going to write every week, but internet has been down for almost a month we just got it running.

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stoopid

with regularization @ work coming up, i was asked to pen an appraisal for my self by my supervisor. i was staring blankly at the monitor and couldn't get to write anything for a full three minutes. i had her open up a sample appraisal from a newly regularized employee and that's the only time i had started writing.

scary thing to happen, as i have always been a writer my whole life. i quickly messaged my friend and told her 'dude, i was asked to write something a while ago and my mind was totally blank! scary shit!' then she replied 'my friend, your job is keeping you stupid. read an effing book for crying out loud!'

when did i ran out of things to say? or write? is the corporate world eating me alive?

so now i vow to write at least once a week on this blog. because god knows i'm too lazy to do it more than that. so once is enough.

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so 90s!

OMG I want to go to the Michael Learns to Rock concert here in Baguio on the 21st of November! All Baguio peeps, text me, let's go! It's so jologs I know but I know all their songs! Ack!

Lezzzz gooooo!

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wow, i can't drink anymore

because my mother insisted i do a full work out while doing my stint at the hospital, i learned i have a fatty liver. so now my alcohol consumption for the last three weeks has been next to nothing. ryan, a very good friend, celebrated his birthday last saturday and when we went out for drinks, i ordered shirley temple. i was like 'damn, i'm now reduced to shirley fucking temple.'

then, as sort of an epiphany, i remembered that shirley temples on this side of the world uses sodas in exchange of the ginger ale (in this case, sprite). and because they have also found out i have ulcers in my stomach, carbonated drinks were a no-no as well. i didn't dare finish the rest of my drink. now you know how sucky my life is.

so, my advice, dear readers, is that never go on an executive check up if you still want the finer things in life. because if you do, you will be reduced to... well... drinking water for the rest of your life.

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