Sunsets in January*

The start of all ends (A short)

2011-09-02T15:39:00.002+08:00

She stares infront of her computer. She seem not to notice the mosquito she hit with a Salinger book earlier pixellating in red and green. Somewhere in between the heaps of paper, the ivy league hottie becomes a corporate whore.

Her slanting, feminine, convent-school handwriting sublimed by the Cathechism of the Italian/Vatican faith were buried under stress, under the earth and dirt and short bond papers. It was ridiculous to exhume it. It was buried until the paper have become soft and folded like the cloth, and useless. Her hands had tapped and something came out in the small white screen. She became amused and delighted and has forgotten her passionate love affair with her handwritings.

Home is 20,000 miles away. But for now, the red, satin-lined sofa 2 meters behind her qualified as home. Home is not where her heart is. There is a damp smell of freshly brewed Cafe Americano roaming the room. Her kidneys smelled it too. It somehow mixed with her blood.

When did it start, she doesn't know. One thing led to another. One minute she was freshly baked out into the real world then the next thing she knew she became a very young associate. It was a brisk winding up and closing shop.

It was already 5AM. She had realized that before deciding on a quick nap. She began having memories that she doesn't have any right to remember. The boy he had seen last week in an Australian coffee shop, was he the one? The one with a fahion victim for a girlfriend? She felt like a vine snaking up a lamp post. Touching here. There. All over. And she was awoken by a light tap over her shoulders.

Coffee, Ma'am? she asks.

And the cycle goes on.

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25.

2011-08-19T14:42:00.004+08:00

I received an email from FutureMe.org three days ago on my birthday. Futureme.org is a website where you write an email to yourself be sent to your email address at anytime of your preference in the future. I wrote mine back in 2006 and my twenty year-old self had this to say:

Dear FutureMe,

you should have a job by now and
lost a lot of weight.

if not, oh well
we'll try again in 4 years.

Even then I was funny. So I had managed to get one thing done, and you know which one it is. :)

Today, I decided to write back to my twenty year-old self. I also decided to put it up on this blog because it has been gathering dust and cobwebs for three years now. There is somebody at the office playing a soft, familiar tune on the guitar, which makes this letter I am about to write more mushy than it should be.

*clears throat*

Dear PastMe,

I hope you have the time, because this is going to be a long one. Hmmm... let's see...

I received your letter three days ago, precisely on our 25th birthday. I am happy to report that yes, you have a paying job! Yey! Actually, you have had 3 in the past five years. First, fresh out of College, you became an English teacher to a bunch of bratty young Koreans. Some turned out to be really nice young adults, took college abroad (passing SATs you helped them review for), and successfully are able to speak and write pretty good English. You will have a 19 year-old student named Soy, and your proudest achievement will be when she finally beats you at Texas Hold'em Poker (which she learned from you).

Then, you had a short stint at a Call Center company. Had met a lot of interesting people and decided you would never go to the United States to work. People there seems to be more stressed than anybody else you have spoken with. And it was also around this time that it became clearer: You wanted to be a lawyer. Flashback to the time when your highschool Economics teacher told you "Alam mo, ma-boka ka. Bagay kang maging abugada." You will not be able to remember his name, but you will forever remember how you felt when you silently muttered Atty. Erwilyn Lei Solito under your breath. Kind of has a nice ring to it, so you tossed your Nursing diploma and headed off to Law School. You also decided to support yourself financially through it, vowed to never ask from your parents to pay for tuition. You somehow saw yourself through that (on some really tight days, they offered helped and you gladly accepted it). Something you should be very proud of. You might slack off on some days, but your heart remained in place.

Lastly, you became a staff for a Nursing review center. After a year, the bosses entrusted you with management. Ah. You will never forget this part of your life. I will advise you to prepare your heart for a multitude of reasons. But mostly because you will grow in so many ways while you're on this job. At this point in your life, a lot of people will disappoint you, but a lot will touch your heart as well. You will learn that friendship does not equal trust and that no matter how much you cry, it does not make it hurt any less. You will meet a lot of wonderful, wonderful people. Some friends will get married, some will have babies ahead of the wedding bells, and some will still be as crazy as you despite being "adults". You will never be more drunk in your life than this time. Trust me, you'll need a lot of alcohol to get by. And friends, more importantly. Not a lot, just a few you can talk to and be crazy with.

You'll attend a couple of concerts, see the Azkals beat Sri Lanka 4-0 live (oh yes, you'll rekindle you football addiction), see a bunch of NBA players, travel a lot, get high and drunk some more, cry the most, lose friends, gain more, get a driver's license (finally), get addicted with Twitter, Facebook and your Blackberry, fall in love, get heartbroken, see your bank account swell then reduce, and be smiling most of the time even though there's a plethora of problems to deal with.

I wish I could tell you how cool you turned out to be. But you're still the same geeky, loud-mouthed, principled girl after 5 long years. Just maybe tougher. Yeah, I would say definitely tougher. The times have brought out the best and the worst in you. It will be a long, arduous journey for you. Prayer will be your only weapon. You'll lose faith on some days, but you always found your way back. Always.

You turned out okay. Despite not losing a lot of weight. You are enjoying life and everything in between! Do not fret! Your 25th birthday will be uneventful, except that it rained hail that day. Pretty cool, huh?

So yeah, life is just as it should be for you. You will probably write yourself in the future again, because that's what you do. You always hope for the best. You may not be completely satisfied with what you have right now, at least you're happy.

Love,
Future Me

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I never wanted this.

2009-01-12T15:09:00.003+08:00

Last night I dreamt I got married in a big, white, traditional wedding. I woke up feeling afraid not because it was a horrendous dream, but because I looked so damn happy.

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chopseuy

2008-12-22T02:07:00.000+08:00

**for some reason i can't stop looking. seriously. it has to stop. it's getting a bit annoying already. no details here//

**i love the idea of tattoos. i was never good with changes so i like the idea of its permanence. i have been thinking of getting one on my wrist--something poetic or grand. the kind which i can tell a cool story about. but then i always hear stories about people thinking too much of what tatoo they'll gonna get and end up with idiotic stuffs inked on their bodies.

**it is chilly once again in this part of the country. i don't know, but the cold does something on people. just a couple of days ago, after too much gin, something amoral happened. to say the least, i was just a spectator, thank god. i suddenly questioned people's morality and how casual can casual get? i am trying my best here not to dive into details.

**it is funny how other people tend to complicate the meaning of love. i know someone who likes this someone but this someone has someone but is very, very, very far away. the someone i know is sooo afraid to take a risk for the someone she likes (which i think kinda likes her as well) because of his someone. i know, it's complicated like that. but really, if we are not going to take risks for anything, we would live our lives always thinking 'what if'. but this is not me talking.

**i am up at 12mn, because work got my body clock all messed up. i live in 4 different time zones, and talking about shifts is as painful as counting hours backwards all the time. Example:
Me: Do we have work on the 25th?
Officemate: None.
Me: Alrighty!
Officemate: Wait, are we talking Manila time or production time?
Me: *puzzled* I have a 12mn shift Mla time, so how is that?
Officemate: Oh you do have work.
Me: But isn't that considered as the 25th already?
Officemate: Yeah, but technically that is 24 production.
Me: I hate you.

**lately, i have been paying bills for the house, shopping for food (in the market as well!), and giving money to anyone and everyone who needs them. i can't believe how grown up that sounded. i was particularly surprised at my selflessness. but i still have to learn how to budget my money.

**how come i am sooo kilig with twilight? it's so stupid yet so kilig. i don't know why they already love each other beyond accounting after they sat next in biology class? or how they want to get married after one date? or how bella would want to give up everything after just one kiss? and somehow, i don't believe edward when he said "you have no idea how long i've waited for you'. seriously, 100 years and no woman? not even one? sige na nga!

**i know i said i'm going to write every week, but internet has been down for almost a month we just got it running.

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stoopid

2008-11-08T15:19:00.002+08:00

with regularization @ work coming up, i was asked to pen an appraisal for my self by my supervisor. i was staring blankly at the monitor and couldn't get to write anything for a full three minutes. i had her open up a sample appraisal from a newly regularized employee and that's the only time i had started writing.

scary thing to happen, as i have always been a writer my whole life. i quickly messaged my friend and told her 'dude, i was asked to write something a while ago and my mind was totally blank! scary shit!' then she replied 'my friend, your job is keeping you stupid. read an effing book for crying out loud!'

when did i ran out of things to say? or write? is the corporate world eating me alive?

so now i vow to write at least once a week on this blog. because god knows i'm too lazy to do it more than that. so once is enough.

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so 90s!

2008-10-21T16:05:00.002+08:00

OMG I want to go to the Michael Learns to Rock concert here in Baguio on the 21st of November! All Baguio peeps, text me, let's go! It's so jologs I know but I know all their songs! Ack!

Lezzzz gooooo!

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wow, i can't drink anymore

2008-09-23T18:55:00.003+08:00

because my mother insisted i do a full work out while doing my stint at the hospital, i learned i have a fatty liver. so now my alcohol consumption for the last three weeks has been next to nothing. ryan, a very good friend, celebrated his birthday last saturday and when we went out for drinks, i ordered shirley temple. i was like 'damn, i'm now reduced to shirley fucking temple.'

then, as sort of an epiphany, i remembered that shirley temples on this side of the world uses sodas in exchange of the ginger ale (in this case, sprite). and because they have also found out i have ulcers in my stomach, carbonated drinks were a no-no as well. i didn't dare finish the rest of my drink. now you know how sucky my life is.

so, my advice, dear readers, is that never go on an executive check up if you still want the finer things in life. because if you do, you will be reduced to... well... drinking water for the rest of your life.

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prayer works

2008-09-15T21:59:00.000+08:00

while i was confined in the hospital seeking treatment for my acute gastroenetritis, my mother suggested i get another pelvic ultrasound to check if the cyst discovered in my left ovary last january was still there.

the sonogram proved the cyst was nowhere to be found. i guess hormone therapies and prayers do work.

thank you, Lord.

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weddings and KC concepcion

2008-09-12T20:20:00.000+08:00

when you get invited to weddings and baptisms often than debuts lately, you know it's all downhill from there. a college org mate got hitched last saturday and i almost wasn't able to attend simply because i forgot about it. the moment i remembered, there was no time to change my clothes and embarrassingly attended the formal/semi-formal ceremony wearing chuck taylors and wide legged jeans.

my favorite part of any wedding is the part where the parents make their speeches. the father of the bride, on the brink of tears, was telling about the sign that convinced him that his first born was already ready to start a new life without them. he said in the months preceding the wedding, he unconsciously suddenly started waking up later than usual so this prompted the daughter to wake up early and prepare breakfast for the family. in one occasion, he happen to secretly watch her prepare the meal and just felt sad because he knew right then, by instinct alone, that her little baby girl was ready to have a family of her own. and true enough, in less than a month, the wedding was underway.

makes me think what kind of story my father or mother would say on my wedding day. because statistically, the bride's parents' get to have the drama speech. have you been to a wedding wherein the groom's parents' cried because they were letting go of their son? i don't think so. most of the time if not all of the time, the father of the bride becomes emotional because generally, fathers couldn't handle the fact that their daughters have grown up.

speaking of crying buckets of tears, i have watched KC concepcion and richard gutierrez's first movie together on the second day it showed (aug 29 i believe) and all i can say is WHY IS THAT WHEN KC CRIES HER WHOLE FUCKIN FACE GETS WET? her neck and hair even! somebody please tell the poor kid the difference between theater acting and movie acting. so much expression on her face, which didn't go well with the close-ups.

the movie wasn't all that it was hyped to be. actually, that was just about it: a hype. my workmates and i were actually surprised to learn that only one SM cinema showed the movie, and on the second day there weren't anymore long queues. in fact, there wasn't any queue in the coming days! most probably, word got out that the movie wasn't as good as expected?

seriously. the movie was so dragging and heavy. i wanted to kill the person behind the story and the script. and phillip salvador dancing at the end of the movie? what the fuck was that about? the only good thing about the movie: ang gwapo ni richard, putang-ina. that's all. i think a very special love top billed by john lloyd cruz and newcomer sarah geronimo was way better. and did better on the box office, i was told.

KC should've just waited for a better script. i heard that she is doing another film under GMA Films this time, rumored to be directed and written by jose javier reyes? if this is another romance/drama movie, i better not see KC drowning in her own tears.

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casual tears

2008-08-21T18:27:00.008+08:00

i found this somewhere off the internet while at work:

Arundhati was with a friend, and they were discussing the subject of dreams. "The only dream worth having," Roy explained, "is to dream that you will live while you’re alive and die only when you are dead." "What exactly does that mean?" asked the friend.

So Roy wrote it down for her on a napkin:
To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate was is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never to forget.

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i cannot sleep

2008-05-09T01:22:00.002+08:00

'What do you want to be when you grow up?'

Had you asked me this question 10 years ago, I would've answered to be a doctor or a lawyer.

But right now, all I want is to be happy.

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Do you know who Mark Mejia is?

2008-04-24T16:34:00.002+08:00

He was the one who beat current American Idol season favorite David Archuleta during CBS Star Search's Battle of the Champions five years ago. David was 12 and Mark was 10.

Rumor has it that Mark is currently training for next year's American Idol, when he turns 16 since it's the minimum age requirement for the show.

Follow Mark in his YouTube account as he sings infront of his computer, as if telling the whole world that he's ready to be the next big star. After he gets a make-over though. I kid, I kid. :)

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tired and scared

2008-04-03T22:10:00.008+08:00

i remember one night we rushed her to the hospital because she said she couldn't breathe. i look at her while she is soundly asleep in a hospital stretcher, alone in the emergency room, and i feel empty. i secretly wanted to tell her it was her fault, quit being overly dramatic about it. i sit there while the nurse get her BP every 15 minutes. i count the seconds lazily passing by, tapping my hands against the cold metal bed only adorned by white linens. she looked pale. for three seconds it looked serious, but all i ever wanted at that moment was to go home and sleep. somehow, she didn't matter. i went outside the hospital and sat alone on a concrete chair. i remember feeling the crisp cold february baguio weather, but i do not remember asking if she felt better. when the doctor finally told she can go home, i felt nothing still.

i remember one afternoon, the doctor told me i had a cyst in my left ovary and that there is a possibility of not being able to bear a little rascal. i distinctly recall looking at my ultrasound, a small white circular thing appeared and my sister beside me looked so very worried. but i didn't flinch. i asked her when can i get my period again. she said we'll try to normalize it. i said okay and left like nothing has happened.

i remember this friend who i had a falling out with. a few months ago, i was desperate in trying to win her friendship back. but now, i couldn't care less. a window of opportunity was opened a few days ago and i didn't even bother peeking at it. i remember how much i miss her and how sorry i was for what happened. but that's just it. a memory. i look at the pictures i have of her and i do not feel anything. i didn't bother to take them down. but they all look like there's an extra person i once knew.

with all of these, i suddenly felt scared. a few days ago while riding in a taxi, i asked myself 'when did i stop caring?' right then i knew i wasn't the same girl anymore.

-update-

oh now i know what i feel. this is static anger. and i don't know how to channel it to sentient anger. wtf, i'm so weird.

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this is how tibak* i was before

2008-04-03T00:08:00.003+08:00

*tibak = aktib. (noun) pertaining to a socio-political activist

a poem i made years ago, which was published in our school's literary folio. i wonder what happened to the girl who wrote this? because somehow, somewhere, i was swallowed by conformity.

Idealistic raw ako

maghirap man ako sa kakatayo
magkakalyo man ang mga paa ko
mangitim man ako mula sa sikat ng araw
mabingi man mula sa mga bulyaw

magtitiis ako…

umuwi man akong basag ang ulo
huwag kumain ng isang linggo
matulog man ako sa bilangguan
o tumira sa lansangan kung kinakailangan

magtitiis ako…

pagpatawanan man ng karamihan
at mabansagang kaaway ng bayan
mamalat mula sa kasisigaw
manghina sa sinag ng araw

magtitiis ako…

kung buhay man ang kapalit
o sa bilangguan ay mapiit
lahat ito’y titiisin ko
sa ngalan ng pagbabago

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Whose head should I demand for this?

2008-03-09T17:32:00.006+08:00

And she won??!

That's recently crowned Bb. Pilipinas-World Janina San Miguel during the pageant's interview portion. I'm sorry, but if this girl is going to represent the Philippines in an international beauty pageant, I want her F's and P's in place and her subject-verb agreement corrected.

If no amount of training will suffice, for the love of God, provide the girl with an interpreter!

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Dizzizit panzit

2008-03-07T21:12:00.005+08:00

I'm currently filling up an application for an exam that has a mortally rate of 99%. Something that may sound like a qualifying test for a MENSA membership, but it's not. It's for a position that a nurse like me has no room for. All my four years of college couldn't have prepared me for this test, but what the heck I'm taking it anyway. And to say it has something to do with the government, now that's the clincher.

So needless to say, I am reviewing again. But now, my nose isn't buried in medical books. My nose is smelling dust from stacked history books and flinching from economic terms so foreign to me. It's learning all over again.

There's also this possibility of working for a private company, but it requires me to have a certain ability I was certain I had before. So I'm rethinking about that.

All of these in between studying for my unscheduled (yet) NCLEX, as my mother badgers me on hours end.

Three different roads. There's no easy way. Especially if your post-surgery mouth cannot stop bleeding. God help me.

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The then

2008-02-27T09:39:00.006+08:00

how is one supposed to feel when you lose a beautiful memory? a friend and i have recently parted ideals and found out that our concept of time and waiting are very foreign to each other.

i have very little idea of the metamorphosis. a few exchanges of bitter words, and then giving up. i wasn't sure if i was the one who gave up. i always thought friendship is a very quaint liaison. but i never thought there could be an end of it. i feel like getting a wrench and pounding it on my head, maybe something good will come out of it, save whatever is left of the remains of what once was.

how is one supposed to feel when you lose a beautiful memory? unless somebody reminds you that you did lose it, it's never forgotten. is that the way it goes? or is it it's never even remembered?

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Maybe because of the Lozada factor?

2008-02-14T00:31:00.010+08:00

I myself remembered a fundamental truth about courage. Which is that courage is not the absence of fear. It is the presence of fear, often a most crippling one, but a fear that is overcome by a heroic act of will, or by the recognition that one has no choice but to do what is right. That is what Rodolfo Lozada has done.
- Condrado De Quiros

When I was young, my father ran for councilor in a small town where our surname was a household name. My fondest memories are of those when we visit the "barrio" and it would seem like major celebrities just paid them a visit. During that certain election year, I vividly remember parading around our green beat-up Volkswagen and giving out candies and hand-printed flyers. My father had the slogan "Maka-Diyos, Maka-Tao" and it was cool for me back then because it rhymed with our family name. So I kept on shouting it when we do little political soirées at the town plaza.

My father didn't have stickers, large banners and fancy gimmicks. He rode the carabao and went house to house. We were almost certain he would win. My clan owned more than half of the land there, most people were indebted to my Lolo and Lola, and most of all, people liked him because he is sincere and hardworking. But then he lost.

There were talks of cheating, but my father accepted the defeat. He was told to run again in the next election, but he didn't. He never ran ever again. Years later, I would learn that the people my father expected to vote for him were bought by the other inept candidates for a measly P20.00. It was my first taste of how politics can be.

So I think I acquired an unconscious political phobia. In school, I disliked the mere mention of my name in class election nominations. I never voted for myself either. When I win, I sulk then I do a lousy job. I'm so weird. It's the notion that I won because somehow I cheated with having more friends in the classroom, or my mother donating the new curtains, or being the teacher's pet, or simply because most of the kids were afraid of me (I was a big girl afterall). It just stuck on my mind that winning in an election constitutes cheating and we eventually elect inept individuals.

I look at Jun Lozada now, with the people dragged in this controversy and the many controversies before that, and cannot help but to think if I'm right? And because I have too much time on my hands, I was able to watch the senate probe on Lozada's alleged kidnapping. I look at the pool of the senators and some of them ask funny, inappropriate, and almost stupid unrelated questions. I look at the slew of government officers being dragged in controversies one after the other, as if it was another day at the office. I wonder how many of our government officials actually do their work?

School days suddenly remembered. Did we vote for a certain person because he was a friend? He was good-looking? He was an award-winning actor? Paid us P500? Donated curtains?

Looking at the government that we have now, I ask a question: have we failed, then?

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Has it been THAT long already?

2007-09-09T23:28:00.000+08:00

After receiving a text message from Maika a couple of weeks ago asking me why my blog suddenly went bullocks, it was only tonight that I realized what she meant. The images of my lay-out apparently are not loading properly, so I'm stuck with this basic template until I find time to fix my blog. My links and communities will be put up some other time as well.

Hmmm.

I was actually shocked to learn that I haven't blogged in exactly one month, thirteen days and four hours (correct me if I'm wrong, I'm horribly bad at numbers). You see, I have a confession to make: I haven't visited my blog in the last 4 weeks. My cyber activity in the last weeks basically includes a three-minute average visit to each of the following: Perez Hilton, Friendster, Gmail, Chuvaness (from whom I heard Gael Garcia Bernal is making a new movie and he's going to film here in Pinas!), and Mininova. Occasionally to Youtube, but only to watch Yuri Lane's Beatbox Harmonica over and over again (I secretly love Yuri. Ssshhh). Most of the times, I am surfing for lesson plans (because I'm too lazy to make my own), doing activities for my students, and making reports on their progress (which is tougher than you think, i mean what shall I write if there is no progress at all?). In short, I am slaving to feed the capitalist interest that is my work. I have let myself become ignorant to the ways of the blogging world. So I ask thee for mercy, blogger Lords.

I became 21 last August 17. It's almost hard to believe that a year has gone by so quickly again. Just so you know, faithful readers, gifts are still accepted, in cash or in kind (FOB tickets performing in Manila will be the greatest gift! LOL I heard they only have general admissions, so wag na lang. hehe). If you need my mailing address, please feel free to email me. Hahaha :) It almost always rains on my birthday, and one of the heaviest I could remember was this year. So the party was cut short by 10 PM, much to my dismay. But it was still fun. I left work with a bag of goodies which made me look like I just came from a Korean grocery. My students gave me things from canned tuna (which I heard costs about P200 if bought here in Pinas) to rice seasoning (Babirang rice seasoning rocks!). When I laid out the things they gave me, I was surprised to find a sachet of Chocquick. All I can say is, Milo still has my vote.

The results of my June 07 Licensure Exams came about a few weeks ago. Glad to announce I came through, thank God! Now I can proudly tell my grandsons and daughters their Lola is twice a registered nurse. I'm glad the leakage issue is finally brought to rest. As they say ... nakaraos din. When a friend messaged me that I passed the exam, I was walking with Maika at SM going down Session Road and I remember feeling extremely elated that my lacrimal glands erupted and gave me away. Suffice to say I cried a lot that day. I'd like to say thank you to all the people who have believed in me; friends, family and strangers alike. For all the prayers, guidance, and constant reassurance that I would make it. And if I didn't, that they would be there to hold my hand. I swear I have the best family and rockin' friends.

That's it for now. I'm off to Lala land because I have work in approximately six hours. Please say you guys still love me even though I make the suckiest blog entries and I don't visit your blogs. Because I do love all of you to smithereens.

Kisses! :)

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One day, I will be shot dead because of this blog

2007-07-26T19:39:00.001+08:00

Yes, I'm still alive and my cyber life is still kicking ass. Let it be known that although I haven't been leaving comments in your blogs, I am reading your entries through my reader. All is not lost.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My billable-per-hour job is keeping me busy. It is funny how friends say I am becoming Korean with every minute I spend with my kids. Minus the looks, of course. About two days ago, I was discussing Geography with a student for a conversation class. We drifted off to talking about food and I asked him what his favorite Asian food is. His eyebrows met and this is the sign where I elaborate my question AKA speak in broken English. But still, he didn't understand, and asked me what "Asia" meant.

As pronunciation is the key to this joke, let it be known that I pronounced "Asia" as any person would in English: "ey-shuh". As I am the kind of teacher who doesn't spoon-feed her students, I went on telling nearly all the Asian countries and also naming the other continents as clues. But still, nothing. I wished at that moment God would leave Iraq for a while and shower me with patience.

Until the little Korean me took hold of the discussion. I said "ah-see-yah" with complete Korean accent. And like an incandescent bulb would react in a flinch of the switch, my student finally got it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows last Monday. Since then, I have spent every idle moment I have in thinking what will Daniel Radcliffe look like when they film the Deathly Hallows.

We all know that nothing in this world is permanent, but it's funny when we are always taken aback when change hits us right in the face.

I can't wait to grow old. As in a 90-year-old old.

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EDIT: The singer sounds like Renz Verano LOL

2007-07-18T22:17:00.000+08:00

*Kahmsamnida Sunny Oppa, for introducing me to this band.

Japs are so emotional. Sila talaga ang sinaunang "emo" people. Ito yung panahon na naloloka pa lang ako sa Spice Girls, hardcore na ang X Japan. Circa 1997. Wala, talbog si Jolina kay Hide (the guy sa video na pink yung hair). Tapos kamukha ni Freddie Aguilar yung isang guitar guy.

Anyway, I'm sorry for the lack of *decent* posts lately. And for not dropping by your blogs. Busy sa kaka-sine. We watched an advanced screening of Ratatouille two days ago (or was it three?), at isa lang masasabi ko: KADIRI YUNG MGA DAGA NUNG NASA KITCHEN NA SILA. I'm sorry, you can never put rats and food together without having a *kadiri* feeling. But I loved that short animation before the movie started... Super funny. :)

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Wentworth Miller is gay

2007-07-04T22:47:00.000+08:00

I died, died, died. I so believe Perez Hilton. Such a loss for the female specie, Wentworth Miller is soooooo hot! Like, burning hot kaya! What is the world coming to?

I STILL wanna have his kid. How much kaya is his sperm? Ay wait, I wanna have threesome with Miller and his boytoy, Luke MacFarlane. Pero baka ma-echepwera ako. LOL

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Korean Phrases You (Don't) Need, Part 1

2007-06-27T19:59:00.000+08:00

I'm aware that most of you out there do not have the Korean font installed, so I'll just romanize whatever Korean I know. As in spell them on how they are pronounced. This is not a formal tutorial, just some basic expressions to show off you know some Korean. Sorry, these are very random expressions.

Arasso / Arachi (Ara)
No, this is not the famous actress daughter of Mel Mathay. This means "understand", and can be used as a question (Do you understand? Arasso?) and an affirmative answer to highlight understanding of a certain matter (Yes, I understand. Ne, arasso.).

Mollah / Mollah so / Nanen mollah
This equates to the Tagalog term "ewan", meaning "I do not know". If you want to make inis (refer to word below) a Korean, ask what "mollah" means and when he says "I don't know", tell him "Huh? You don't know?" and you know the rest.

Ja jeung nah
Means "annoying" (kainis) or "annoyed" and somewhat inappropriate expression. It also connotes a complaint or utter expression of dismay/protest to someone or something. (In Konglish: Eysh! You're very ja jeung nah!)

Hajima
Roughly translates to "stop", "stop what you're doing", "stop it".

Kwaen cha na yo
This phrase can be used in different ways. (1)In an interrogative way: Kwaen cha na? meaning "Are you okay?", especially after an accident has occurred. (2)As an affirmative answer to #1: Kwaen cha na yo. meaning "I'm fine" or "I'm okay". (3)After somebody says "I'm sorry": Kwaen cha na meaning "It's okay (don't mind it)".(4)As a response to a "Thank you": Kwaen cha na meaning "No problem" or "It's okay".

Sincha / also: Cincha
I think this is the second word Filipinos learn from Koreans (after ahnnyeonghaseyo) because it is most of the latter's favorite expression, which means "really" or "true". Can be used as an expression of disbelief (Sincha??? Really???), amazement and affirmation of the event (Sincha! Really!) or simply used as validation (question) or basically an expression when teasing.

Miane / Mianhamnida / Chwesonghamnida
Basically means "I'm sorry" or "My apologies". Miane (miya ne) is less formal for very small offense. Mianhamnida is more formal but chwesonghamnida for a more grave offense.

Cheori ka
Means "Get lost" or "Go away" and can sometimes be rude. (Antonym of Iriwa or Irowa, which means "Come here" in true sense.)

That is it for now. Will add more soon. Maybe a more structured one. Hehe...

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I wish my life was on auto-pilot

2007-06-25T19:30:00.000+08:00

It is days like these- rainy Mondays- that life is worth contemplating upon. Between the traffic jam that threatens my timely presence at work and the tattling of rain on the cab's exterior, I can not help but ponder on the amphigory I call my life. There are instances when I wish I could go ten years forward and see what mess I could've done and then go back again so I can fix it. Then I would do this again and again until I am satisfied with how the future will turn out, living the life I've always wanted. The Hiro complex, I like to call it.

I seriously hate the future and the mystery it brings. This is probably due to the fact that the future is reflected by what you do today. And right now, I'm living a crappy life. I've always envisioned life post college as a grand adventure of some sort. A race to the final destination of a fantastic job, loving husband, cute children and Sundays at the Club. My mind is coñio like that.

I'm in a sea of conflict and my billable-per-hour job right now is an air vest waiting to explode. And when it does, I'm out of my comfort zone swimming for my life. And I do not know how to swim, and if I did, I wouldn't know in which direction I should head to so my feet can touch sand again.

The future fucks with my mind like crazy, so there are a lot of times I do not think about it. Except for days like these- rainy Mondays- when it is always nice to be afraid, to feel alone, so it will stir you to do something so you can see clearly ahead. Like turning your wiper on, perhaps.

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Wow Philippines

2007-06-21T18:11:00.000+08:00

My Lakbayan grade is C+!

How much of the Philippines have you visited? Find out atLakbayan!

Created by Eugene Villar.

Not bad, eh? I'm surprised to have gained this score, when most of the people I know got stuck with Cs or Ds (peace). And then I remembered I used to travel a lot when I was in high school, joining contests and such (mostly writing/journalistic events). My school would sponsor it which basically means free everything.

Then come college, I was given opportunities to travel wherever CEGP (College Editor's Guild of the Philippines) held their infamous national conferences. All I had to bring was my pocket money.

There were times in my life when I would come home only for two weeks and off to traveling again. Especially in my high school senior year, when all the good stuff came rushing in. The furthest I went is to the SOCSARGEN region. Stayed there for more than a week. All I could remember was that everything I ate was tuna-- tuna longganisa, tuna hotdog, sinigang na tuna, adobong tuna, tuna tocino, and a bunch of other tuna delicacies, especially when I was at General Santos City.

Maybe if I had gone to Boracay, Puerto Galera, and Bohol last summer, I would've gotten a B-.

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Trying

2007-06-19T19:29:00.000+08:00

Everything is not the same nowadays. The sun has been missing most of the day and I've been coming home extremely early straight after work. The latter made my mother very happy, but I reasoned there was nowhere to go with anywhere basically.

Maika found a new job which required her to work until 7 in the evening, two hours more after I get off mine. Kubi is sweating in the lowland while she pursues her masters degree at UP Diliman. My college friends are either sulking at home or too lazy to go out. One of my closest one got into Medicine and is all giddy about it. My friends at work either had a family to attend to or are just too damn goody-goody for a late night out. The rest of my friends started school or started reviewing for NCLEX.

I suddenly missed hanging out at our favorite karaoke place. I also miss ogling at people while taking a sip of our coffees and juices. Am now trying to adjust to the life of a working adult once again.

My students are all still the same, but some of them had new faces. I was able to exercise my vocal chords when one of the notorious one went attitudinal on me. I was able to shut him up and we went through his workbook in such a breeze. One certain student (little boy aged 9), who I learned from Kubi was a 'touchy' one, suddenly kissed me on the cheeks on my second day of return to work. I first found it weird because he barely knew me (he was a new student) at all. But later on found it to be sweet and told him not to do that to his male teachers. He didn't get it.

When the new kids found out I was the one who taught the High School Musical dance to the previous students during our Christmas Party last year, I became an instant celebrity. Apparently, HSM is still popular at our school and the girls and boys alike found the dances and songs enchanting. Thank God they are not making me dance just yet!

I am now seriously trying to shed off some weight, because my brothers suddenly realized how big their only and youngest sister has become. Last father's day at the dinner table, they refused to pass me anything except water. I had to excuse myself from the table upon getting their hint and watched TV instead. My mother said I should go vegetarian if I wanted to lose weight but I'm not about to give up my PETA (People Eating Tasty Animals) membership yet. Maybe in a month's time. I'll have to ponder hard on that.

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I don't know if this is funny or sad

2007-06-16T19:02:00.000+08:00

A short French movie that you should watch from start to finish. It is subbed, so do not worry. :)

As Bryan Boy puts it "Never trust men who are poor or take the public transport." Ang harsh.

This brings to mind a conversation I had with Lisa and her friend Marie during my stay at Atenara. Can't remember the exact details, but Marie's father had a rule that any boy who's going to or is currently dating his daughter must afford her. We laughed so hard when Marie said "But I can't even afford myself!"

And so was the start of Lisa's infamous princess seminars, lecturing me why I should stay away from "mongrels" and stick with the "pedigrees". A guy who knows how to use the chopsticks and can eat using a knife and a fork, without asking the waiter for an extra spoon. A guy who acts his age and not his shoe size. Well-mannered boys from good families. Not necessarily rich, as we know money can't buy breeding.

In the end, we women do not need men who will love us. We need men who will respect us.

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Angel VS Devil: Cultivate the strong, cull the weak

2007-06-14T22:19:00.000+08:00

I reluctantly went back to my old job teaching English to young Koreans. Adult world is far more complicated as I had expected, thinking I could live off with my mother's money in the next billion years. Turned out I had the innate need to work for my own money, spend it as wisely as I can (on clothes, shoes and bags) and be proud to tell everyone one I live on a paycheck-to-paycheck basis. It gives a little thrill to my rather dull and boring bratty life.

This afternoon, our newly appointed manager decided to include 'call-back' teachers (the ones who worked there previously and are granted teaching load again) to a Behavior Orientation meeting with Mr. Ahn, our company owner and president. Along the way, he asked what happened to the Philippines' economy when it was eleven times stronger than that of South Korea forty years ago. The teacher beside me said it was primarily due to the corrupt and inept officials we have. Mr. Ahn, who will later I would admire as a businessman, disagreed. He pointed out that their government is also quite corrupt. It could be a reason for the declining economy, but what sustains it?

He answers because our leader is, according to him, an ANGEL and theirs is a DEVIL. This was met with a wide range of disagreement. For one, I will never agree to an idea, even if it is as such, that GMA is flying on white wings on her little white robe. It is torture to even call her president, much more an angel.

I finally got his idea of angel/devil when he drew a triangle and said that the Philippines, as kind culture we have, tends to focus more on the people on the bottom of the pyramid, the not so good workers, while practically ignoring the 'top performers'. Now, you ask, what is the connection of this pyramid to a success of one's country?

Mr. Ahn points out that we Filipinos do not know differentiation. We tend to view everybody as equal, which is okay in a humanitarian point of view, but not on the basis of economic progress. Because of this, our 'top performers' are easily discouraged when they see that the government pays more attention to the 'not so good workers'. They (government) tend to focus more on how to alleviate the suffering of the weak and the poor, while the strong and abled are left to expand their talents somewhere else. The 'not so good workers' now tend to be so independent to 'dole outs' and would not really strive for success, as there is always somebody there to help them. It is like rewarding those who do nothing but be poor.

Korea believes the opposite. He said that in his country, the 'top performers' are rewarded far more than the others, which in turn encourages and motivates the others to be 'top performers' to enjoy such benefits. Which also tantamount to retaining skilled workers in their own country to benefit their own people. So Koreans continuously strive for perfection for they strongly believe that for success to be achieved they have to cultivate the strong and cull the weak, as barbaric as it may sound.

Made me think. I'm all for equal chances-- rich, poor, whatever. But I also do not agree in investing in something of no use. Better we develop the talents and abilities of our own people before they sell their services to foreign soil. But what do I know, I'm just a 20 year-old girl who got her ideas from a chinky-eyed businessman who cannot even speak straight English and ironically owns an international English academy.

How about you, what do you think?

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Can you guess why...

2007-06-11T22:07:00.000+08:00

we had to do this after the exam?

PS
I'm back. And yes, I'm still alive. Let the wait begin...

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Imagine life without board exams...

2007-06-02T23:00:00.000+08:00

Then maybe I don't have to be on this hiatus.

I'm checking in at Atenara for five days starting tomorrow, so I could concentrate on reviewing. The tranquility will help me retain things in my head. Maybe to meditate on things too. *wink

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I wanted to post more pictures (and videos!) of what happened today, but since I am now officially sealing my hiatus, I am letting Kubi and Maika do that. Suffice to say that I enjoyed our little tea party and finally Kubi delivered with the cake. I also learned that I'm better off singing with a partner than singing alone. I was a sore loser without Emil. Nevertheless, it was a rockin' evening.

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Kids, I'll see you all after the eleventh. Prayers are highly encouraged.

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Remembrance, part two

2007-05-31T10:18:00.000+08:00

The memory of a first heartache.

Three years down and it still hurts as though it just happened yesterday. I was never a believer of fairy tales, although I would always weep in hearing a story of one. I have convinced myself that I had a bad case of overproductive tear glands, although I suddenly disputed myself when I cried watching a badly made Dolphy movie. I am mushy like that.

J was everything I never wanted in a man. I dreamt of falling in-love with a guy in khakis and plays golf at the Club, not to a rugged, lives pay day to pay day Red Horse junkie. But then, love is funny like that. You want something palatable to the eyes, instead gives you something worthy to listen to. We would talk about politics, the depressing state of the world, the 2008 Beijing Olympics, life, and how it ought to be lived. Most of the time, we would just sit quietly under the magnitude of stars over head.

But it was a happiness short-lived. As every good thing in this world, it must come to an end. He told me he was sorry, but there was somebody else. And that they had been together for one million years. He's sorry he didn't tell me. But he's still glad to have met me and that he enjoyed being with me yadi yadi yada. His voice trailed into my unconsciousness.

I wept to my sleep most nights, and silently cried inside when I couldn't bear to close my eyes. I never told anyone about us, not even my friends. I do not know why. I just wanted to be alone in my languor. It was true what they say, when you are heartbroken and depressed, you would think that all the songs you hear on the radio were made for this moment alone. I even cried to the sound of Yeah by Usher. Nobody told me it was going to be that painful. I felt like I starred in a cheap production of a radio drama, the ones you hear when your labandera is doing her chores at one in the afternoon.

Sometimes when I'm alone, I think of him and I don't like it. Because it is the pain that I feel, not the elation of being once in-love with him. Back then, whenever I thought of him, my heart races and gallops like a wild horse. But now, it is just pain and anger to which I haven't come to terms with. I have come to realize I am having some form of dysfunctional grieving.

I think I need therapy for the rest of my life. That jerk.

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Fill in the Blanks + Miss Universe 2007 hooplas

2007-05-29T11:22:00.000+08:00

"In the Miss Universe pageants, Miss Philippines always bags the Miss Photogenic Award because ______________________________."

A quote from this website: "Miss Photogenic is PHILIPPINES!!!! Unlike previous winners from the Philippines, this one deserves it."

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A very close friend of mine just made chika something about Theresa Licaros. She was a classmate of current Bb. Pilipinas Universe back in the days. When she was in UP undergrad, she was very grade conscious. And was said that most of her blockmates hated her for 'grade grubbing'. Kasi daw, first day of classes pa lang, she would talk to the professors and ask straight up what she can do to earn extra credits, 'para lang makasiguro ng uno.'

Now that's an intelligent girl. Madiskarte. I mean, I would also do such thing if I was running for honors, just to secure my spot. So much for fair chances, this is the wild! Survival of the fittest! LOL

Anyway, I'm not in any way trashing Theresa Licaros. Are you kidding me? I love the bruja! Our homegirl is beauty and brains, what else can you ask for? And if you comment to say otherwise, you are just wasting your time.

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Okay, I think the Mexican crowd just booed their way (twice!) into a stricter US Immigration Law. (EDIT: This is old news. The Mexicans did the same thing in 1993.Video here.) Which leads me to a conclusion that the Miss Universe pageant should never return to Mexico! (One YouTube member said: "They're just mad cuz some of them got deported." How true, how true!)

I pity the girl (Miss USA), at least a billion televiewers witnessed her fall and how the boos of the crowd were much louder than her voice with microphone. Leave politics out of Miss Universe, pwede ba? Uno momento por favor could've been Silencio por favor,no?

You just gotta love the Mexicans. Full of spice. Yay!

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Partial Proclamation of winners + A Shameless plead

2007-05-27T00:02:00.000+08:00

No, this post is not about who won in our recently concluded midterm elections. This is so far my list for the 2007 Top Ten Emerging Blogs. The results which I just based on the 'blogs-that-I-read-and-actually-like' criteria. In no particular importance of order:

1. I decided to vote myself! So at least I get two votes, di ba? One from fruityoaty and one from me! Hahaha! :)

2. Kubi! Not only because she is a very good friend, but also because she writes waaaaaaaay better than I do. Very witty girl indeed. But crazy most of the time in real life. We both are. LOL. I love you Kubeh! :D You better give me the cake before you go disappear from the boondocks.

3. JJ! Because he talks about politics a lot. It's one of my favorite topics!

4. Cruise! He takes breath-taking pictures of places I, for the meantime, am only able to go to in my dreams. He is on hiatus mode though, I wonder if my vote still counts?

5. Jake! Because I am also a self-confessed hopeless romantic. He writes very good Tagalog, by the way. Iba nga naman talaga kung Tagalog magsulat, mas nakakatawa. :)

6. Paolo! I love him! His blog, I mean. It is very entertaining and I especially like this series.

7. Jhed! I only got to know his blog this week but already I'm hooked up! He is very open about his sexual life which makes me feel like a voyeur every time I visit his blog. Hehe.. Plus, he asked me to include him in this list straight up! I'm really a nice person so I didn't let him down. *wink

8. Massa P! I'm such a fan of this blog. She had me at spaghetti.

#s 9&10 are going to be filled up in the next few days. I thought of including {i} on this list because she is seriously one of the best writers/bloggers around but I found out that she started her blog a month earlier than the limit set by Janette Toral. Sayang! Same goes out to the other 'old' blogs here in my blogroll.

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Please vote for me and Kubi, or else I will keep on posting videos like this to torment you. LOL
This is (L-R) Emil, Kubi, and I (I cannot see myself!) trying to sound as good as we could. Sadly, we failed. That is Maika singing in the background. (They will most probably kill me when they learn I posted this on my blog, but what the heck, I need votes! LOL! :D)

We might suck at singing, but we rock at everything else. (Me to myself: Yeah right, keep telling yourself that.)

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Chismis in the third world

2007-05-25T11:36:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry for this post, but I just had to blog about it!

Okay, if you are a Nora Aunor fan, please do not read the following. Stop right here and go attend to your other house chores instead. You will not like this news.

Nora Aunor marries her *lesbian* manager.

WHY???

Oh gawd. I seriously do not know how to react to this one! It's not like I'm opposed to same-sex marriage or something (in fact, I support it! Let them have a shot at happiness, di ba?), but dudes this is NORA AUNOR. You know, Nora my-brother-is-not-a-pig-walang-himala Nora! Nora Aunor na dating loveteam ni Tirso Cruz III! Wala, kagulat lang. Parang Nora's hair was the sign all along. And she was never really that glamorous unlike the other artistas her age. Always wearing that jean jacket na parang yung mga kalaban ni FPJ sa suntukan and barilan. (edit) Come to think of it, Nora's nickname "GUY" was also a sign!

I wonder what Pip has to say to this. AND Rickard Merck! And that other younger dude Nora was supposed to be living with-- what's-his-face I forget.

Na-imagine ko na mga Vilmanians, laughing their heads off siguro.

(EDIT: Sorry, the picture of Nora and Norie had to be taken down. Hay, sayang sa di nakakita. LOL)

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Get Lei'd + 2007 Emerging Influential Blogs

2007-05-22T20:30:00.000+08:00

After helping two friends with their blog templates (*ehem* cake!) , I am now concentrating on my own blog. After reading this post from Sasha, I am now seriously contemplating of buying my own domain and a web host. My credit card should pay for something else other than shopping. However, there is that one teeny problem: I know nothing about web hosting. So please bear with my sub normal intelligence when it comes to it. I do have a simple question though: Is it possible to just have like a Blogger-like tool that I can just use, write down entries there, but will be directed to my domain? Do I make sense? I'm sorry, I'm just bobita when it comes to this certain topic. Any help/tutorial will be greatly appreciated. :)

Now, for the fun part. Granting that I will be enlightened to the ways of having my own web host, choosing a domain name will be tackled next. I want something that is easy to remember, but will not involve my whole name. I want clickers to say "Wow, cool domain name!" and then have legions of adoring fans and followers to that extent. Anyway, remember this post about the Proud Race t-shirts? And me wanting the same kind of idea for my own name? Well Alternati had this to say and basically gave me an idea for a domain name. GET LEID sounds cute, noh? But getleid.com is already taken (a website about lei's) and getleid.net is also snatched and is a sex toy company. Any ideas? Or do I need to hold a contest for this?

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Speaking of contests, Janette Toral of Digital Filipino is spearheading the search for The Top Ten Emerging Influential Blogs of 2007 and fruityoaty was ~~high~~ kind enough to list me as one of her nominees.

I am going to have my own list too, but I'm still trying to figure out who will make it. Naks. I don't have the luxury of time to go around looking through archives right now (since only those blogs made from August of 2006 are counted). For the meantime, I encourage you to pick your own Top Ten Influential Blogs and include me on that list. Why? Because contest winners announcement will be on August 1 and what do you know, my birthday is on the 17th of the same month! So treat it like your *very* advanced birthday present, will ya? :) Plus, fruityoaty nominated me, if she thinks I'm influential enough to be counted, then hell yeah I am! :)

If you are: irritated by these kinds of people, an attention whore, a hopeless romantic, and is a fan of a good laugh just to name a few, then please feel free to include me on your list.

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I'm not being mean.

2007-05-20T15:35:00.000+08:00

I'm a person who easily gets irritated. Especially if it's more than 25C outside and I'm wearing a jacket because it seemed cold in our place (where the sun is a myth) and when I took a cab and arrived in town, the sun is trying to bake me alive (at 25C, I'm spoiled). I have almost non-existent tolerance to the following people:

1. Chatty cab drivers. I absolutely hate chatty cab drivers. What do they think they are, drop-out therapists who have opinions about absolutely everything? I pay you to get me where I'm supposed to be in under 10 minutes, not to hear your litany about how unfair life (I have friends to do that) or the recent election (I have my tibak friends for that) is. I leave giving advices to bartenders who never got enough money for a psychology degree. Plus, this is what happens when you connect to cab drivers.

2. That person in the review hall/classroom who keeps on shouting the wrong answers. You know that theory that people supposedly learn quickly by hearing and retains memory better, rather than using the sight? I am about to take the biggest and most important exam in my life (again, I passed the first time) and if that stupid, loud-mouthed bitch sitting behind me won't shut up, I may be in trouble. Imagine if in the actual exam, because of escalating anxiety number after number, all you can hear is her voice, clouding your better judgment?

3. People walking slowly in Session Road or that person who stops (even for a second) at the end of the escalator for nothing. Mataray that I am, I say "Excuse me" or "Let's move, people" loud enough for these people to realize they are blocking my way and I don't like it. When I'm really pissed off, I may even say "Hindi ito Sta. Cruzan!"

4. People under the bystander effect. There was a time when I was crossing the overpass with a friend when I saw that the man trailing behind a foreigner was fidgeting through the latter's bag. Of course the foreigner wasn't able to feel this as it seemed the man was such an expert. The people who were following them were just looking at what was happening, whispering to each other but doing nothing. It took me three seconds to realize what was happening and then I grabbed the foreigner's arm, swirled him around, pointed at the thief and blatantly announced "This guy is trying to rob you! He's opening your bag!" The world stopped for a millisecond and resumed again when the thief ran for his dignity. The people looked at me with weird expressions as I told them "Wala man lang kayong ginawa." And before I could even lecture them, my friend dragged me away from the scene.

5. People who cut lines. Need I say more?

6. The person who think his/her problem is any bigger than the rest of ours. Grow the fuck up, and suck it in. The only reason people appear to you as not having "big" or "heavy" problems is that these people deal with it and are actually trying their best not to be consumed by it. Unlike you, sulking around getting emo and putting on heavy eyeliners to tell the world that you're one messed-up pathetic excuse for a human being.

7. Incompetent people working in the restaurant industry. This movie does not scare me. If a *hungry* customer's needs are not met for unacceptable reasons, I go ballistic. Do not irritate a hungry customer, especially if that is me. :)

8. People who say mean things to you in your face because they know you don't understand their language. This is just plain disrespectful. I have plenty of experience in this particular scenario, being that I was a teacher to Korean kids before. And also because of my short teaching stint, I learned a few Korean phrases. This includes all possible swear words and occasional polite/kind words. So when a Korean stepped on my slippers and blurted the Korean term for "Fuck you", I turned to him and said Burago?!, which just basically means "What did you say?!" He was a bit shocked and repeated bowing of his head came along with him saying Miyanhamnida in between.

Remembrance, part one

2007-05-16T23:11:00.000+08:00

The memory of a first love.

I was nine when I met H. I belonged to the Star Section in my first three years in grade school but when I learned that the 4th grade adviser was the Cruella DeVille of the school, I had my mother talk with the principal so I could be transferred to another section.

It was the first day of school, the sunniest of all June mornings, and already I was gloomy and ready to go home. I knew nobody from this class and nobody knew me. I braved the stares from the door to the back of the room to take a seat. I kept my head down. That's when somebody tapped my shoulder and asked "Ikaw yung takot kay Ms. O ano? Hello, ako si H." He had short curly hair and the roundest pair of eyes I've ever seen. I did not say anything.

That is all I can remember with my first meeting with H. The rest of the next six months is also pretty much in a Photoshop motion blur except that I knew I had the biggest crush on him. I don't have any more distinctive memories of H during that year except this particular Christmas when we had a Nativity play.

H was Joseph and although I tried my very best to be Mary, our homeroom teacher chose her niece. I was devastated and played an angel instead. During rehearsals, I would batter my teacher to place me beside Jesus, Mary, and (most especially) Joseph to emphasize the divinity of the family. And of course, so that I would be closer to H but I didn't tell her that. She brushed off my idea and put the angels about ten feet to the front/side so it would look like we are looking down from heaven or something to that effect.

Come production day, when all of the world was watching, an angel got lost and was thought to have descended down from heaven, away from the other angels, to be with Joseph. I strayed and stood beside H, with our shoulders brushing and occassional smiles were thrown at each other. I was watching my homeroom teacher from the side of the stage making all these weird flapping of the arms telling me to join the angels up front. Oh boy, she really had her angry face on. I had some light not-following-the-teacher sermon but it was all worth it. When I look at the pictures from that play, I can't help but smile.

H and I pretty much hit it off, becoming friends and all that. I was the only girl he invited to play agawan-base with him and the other school boys, although he later told me he thought I was 'one of the boys' that's why he called me for their dirty games so often. But hey, he was the first guy to ever have an effect on me, so it never mattered under what circumstance brought us together, as long as we were together, it was all fine. To be nine and in-love.

How about you, what's the story of your first love?

Cause me pain, Luke Jickain

2007-05-12T21:51:00.000+08:00

I looooove Proud Race tees! I hope to buy these cutesies when I go to Manila. (Unless somebody will be a doll to buy it for me at SFAS and just ship it to me. I'll pay ofcourse *hint, hint* LOL) I really do not generally like shirts with letter prints but this House of Holland parody makes me want to change my whole lifestyle. I especially like:
And hers I can't find a picture of the 'Cause me pain, Luke Jickain' shirt. I also want that one. Go and wear one for yourself. I think it's only Php550.

I'm trying to come up with a rhyme for my name too, so I can print a shirt and send it to Brad Pitt. But all I can think of is "Hey, wanna sway with Lei?' Very kindergarten but at the same time disturbing. Help me.

6 weird things about me + Roi Vinzon's print ad campaign

2007-05-10T11:11:00.000+08:00

*Tagged by JJ.

Each player of this game starts with 6 weird things about you. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state the rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says you are tagged in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

1) I can produce tears in less than ten seconds without even trying. Back when I was teaching and my students knew of this, I felt like I was a caged circus freak. During in-between class breaks, they would gather around me (especially the boys) and would chant "Teacher! Cry! Cry! Cry!".

2) I like watching Wowowee. In fact, I'm addicted to it. I know all the words to Willie Revillame's songs. I know I'm so jologs but it's so much fun watching it!

3) I don't like anything spicy in general but I love tukbokki and rabokki with lots of kochujang. There is also this Korean spaghetti-like dish which I forgot the name but totally salivate for. Hmmm mashitta!

4) I *always* get sick whenever I swim. Be it pool or beach swimming. Like today. I came from Leisure Coast yesterday (which was totally impromptu, btw) and now I'm aching all over and I think I'm going to have colds.

5) I classify people in two: those who know their grammar and those who don't. I think it is the editor or the English teacher in me. Although I admit I don't write/speak very good English.

6) I Google my name and other people's name all the time. When their name gives a zilch result, I feel bad for them. I don't know why, I just do.

I'm going to break the rules by tagging only one person: Maika. Go and visit her site. Be kind to her for she is new to our ways. *wink*

*****************

With four days to go before the election, political candidates seem to be making the most of the last three days of campaigning. Take this one for example: Roi Vinzon's print ad in a local daily. (click photo for a larger version)

Vinzon writes: (unedited)

Why Am I running for Councilor here in Baguio? And what is a Movie Actor doing in a profession such as Politics, of all things!

To start, there is nothing wrong in a career in politics! It is those corrupt Bad Politicians who are giving the bad image to this nation building profession called politics.

To be sure, there are now many do gooders successful politicians who were actors, and Baguio City can not spare talented officials where ever they may come from.

Now, as an 8 years resident and loving it, I feel it is pay back time, to give back by serving...as Councilor! I have a degree in Business Management. I have a small business here and it is located at the ground floor at Puso ng Baguio.

As a Councilor, mu success will be based on "Service, above all!" which simply means I will be the servant, not the other way around!

Expect due diligence from this Councilor on issues like the Environment, Transparent Governance--It is always the public interest first! Then, central to my advocacy, will be to promote more Art consciousness in the City of Baguio!

Ladies and gentlemen, I don't need to say on which side I classify Mr. Vinzon. I rest my case.

Please do not mind my extra oily face.

2007-05-08T21:27:00.000+08:00

I know. It's like watching Grease, minus the dancing and the acting. It's just... grease as in grasa, the one you put in your hinges so it won't make that 'ngit-ngit' sound. But this post is not about my oily face but of my new nail polish.

My mother's friend got back from the States and she gave me and my mom tons of girlie stuff as pasalubong. It included this nail polish from Maybelline and well, as you can see, I tried it.

Mom said "Ano ba naman yang kulay na yan, pang pokpok!" I'm not a fan of reds because I'm a bit dark but I just gave in to the need of painting it on my nails. Then I ended up disappointed. It's like one of them nail polish magazine ads where you see the model wearing obnoxious shades of red, pink or orange and it looks so chic on them, but ends up looking disastrous for you even if you have the same skin tone with the model.

I'm a french manicure girl ever since I had my first pedicure/manicure eons ago. Recently, I discovered a shop at a mall here which does nail arts and I promised myself I'd go one of these days. It's rather stylish by the looks of the posters in the nail salon. I hope it'll look cute on my nails though. Wish me luck! :)

Double time

2007-05-07T11:03:00.000+08:00

Alam niyo ba na one is to ten na ang ratio ng mga babae sa lalake? Tapos ito pa yung breakdown ng mga lalakeng yun: dalawa dun bading, tapos idagdag mo pa yung dalawang boypren ng bading, isa dun magiging pari, at dalawa taken na.

Eh di tatlo na lang natitira, di ba? Kamusta naman kung yung tatlong yun eh gwapo pa. O kaya kung matino naman ang ugali di ba?

Tsk. Sabi nga ni Maika: "Kelangan mag double time."

Wiki "sincha?!"* moments

2007-05-05T02:34:00.000+08:00

From Wikipedia entries of some of the May 2007 election senatorial candidates:

Trillanes:

Arroyo:

Pichay:

Singson:

Escudero:

*Sincha, a Korean expression which means 'really?!'.

Hot indigenous person

2007-05-03T18:05:00.000+08:00

Last month, this happened here in Baguio City. A friend of mine and I volunteered as part of the conference secretariat under the documentation team (and also because we are members of the College Editor's Guild of the Philippines or CEGP Baguio-Benguet and Kabataan Partylist that's why we had to help somehow) but SADLY and very much UNFORTUNATELY I only made it to the second day and THAT WAS IT.

I wasn't able to complete the international conference OR help in any way because I was cramped up with fixing my birth certificate and registering for the Nursing board exam retake. So I totally trashed any memory of that conference because I wasn't really in it to begin with.

But a few days ago, I received an email from a delegate who represented New Zealand (surprisingly, I was part of the APIYN email list. I wonder who listed me...). It contained pictures she (or is it he?) took of the conference and I was totally surprised to see this hottie. I was like 'Whoa!'

Okaaaayyyyy. Yeah I saw that guy when I came in the second day but I had no idea he was that hot without his shirt on! If I did, I would've dodged fixing that birth certificate and asked him to marry me instead! Oh he's sooo my McDreamy! Good-looking na, tibak pa! I heard that he was so tibak that he made agit mag-isa when he was discussing his tribe's plight with the NZ government. "The people, united, will never be defeated!" I hate that agit because it's sooo luma na pero gawd I would've clenched my fist and threw it in the air and screamed with him. Kahit magmukha akong tanga. LOL :)

Take that, Sparta boys.

Girl Power!

2007-05-02T19:34:00.000+08:00

This is the Spice Girls performing their first single 'Wannabe' broadcasted in 1996.

When I spent Lent with old friends in Zambales, we strolled down high school memory lane: who we hated most, what kalokohans we did, games we played, dress that we wore, and the music we listened to. We were so mainstream back then. We like Eraserheads, N'Sync, Backstreet Boys, and of course the Spice Girls.

If the 80s had Bananarama, we had the Spice Girls. The late 90s owned Spice Girls and I haven't met a single soul of my age who didn't listen to them. I remember owning tapes (yes! TAPES!) of their albums plus posters and I even watched their movie. I memorized their songs and dance routines by heart. I was a hardcore Spice Girls fan. The only thing I didn't do was to wear platform shoes.

Our classroom always reeked of Spice Girls tune. If any of us was called up in front of the classroom or on the stage to sing or do an ice breaker, we would always end up singing a Spice Girls song (especially my gay classmates, until of course they developed their Adam's apple). A minus one cassette was always handy when it came to this. I always had fun singing and dancing along even if I have absolutely no artistic capabilities. I was so hooked with their Girl Power slogan and I think that started my being feminist.

I especially liked how they dress up to their individual nicknames. Victoria Adams (Posh Spice) was always so demure but still glamorous. Emma Bunton (Baby Spice) always wore pink which kinda made her my favorite and was most often than not in a pigtail. Mel C. (Sporty Spice) was always the rowdy one and wore soccer uniforms. Mel B. (Scary Spice) had, well, a scary hair! Geri Halliwell (Ginger Spice) errrmm... well I don't really get why she is called that way. All I can think of is that it has something to do with her fiery red hair.

There was also this rumor that they were in reality gays and were products of reproductive surgeries. It's kinda funny but I think I sort of believed this at first. Yes, I was very gullible in high school.

I miss the Spice Girls. I wish they'd push through with their reunion tour. If they will come to the Philippines, I'll definitely watch. Do you think they will still be singing live like they always do in their concerts? Or even doing some serious high-energy dancing?

So many men, so little time

2007-05-02T12:10:00.000+08:00

I think I have thanatophobia. Just a while ago when I was on my way to SM to watch the premiere of Spider-Man 3 (props to Maika for getting us free guaranteed seat tickets, by the way), there was a truck infront of the taxi I was riding that was carrying timber and I kept thinking what if this suddenly falls and crashes into my cab? Followed by a litany of thoughts about death and dying. I was doing the thinking part a lot recently.

It also got me thinking of things I like to do or see before I leave this deity-forsaken planet. Below are some of the things on top of my head:

1) I've always thought bartending is such a cool job. My brother did some bartending way back and I always got free drinks from him. Plus that Coyote Ugly film fueled my imagination. *wink* I'd like to learn how to bartend and be a successful bartender.

2) Skydive. I like defying gravity.

3) Go backpacking in Europe with my closest friends and then meeting hot strangers on the way. ^_^

4) Have sex with Brad Pitt or Jude Law. Oh okay, a hug is enough.

5) Have a religious pilgrimage. Talk to the Dalai Lama, visit Mecca, or walk on the streets of Jerusalem.

6) Pilot my own plane. And not crash, of course.

7) Spend a weekend at Burj Al-Arab.

8) Dive in a pool of spaghetti. I looooove spaghetti! It cheers me up everytime I eat it.

9) Star in a movie... porn movie. LOL

10) Spend a night with Neil Gaiman, Paulo Coelho, and Robert Fulghum. It'll be nice if Conan O'Brien was there, too.

11) Write and publish a kick-ass novel.

12) Go on a shopping spree in Milan, Paris, New York and Tokyo.

13) Go to Times Square for New Year's Eve and kiss the man I will spend the rest of my life with. Until I find him, Times Square will have to wait.

14) Party until I drop in Mykonos, Greece aka Where the World Goes to Party.

That is all I can think for now. How about you? What's on your list?

Pwede na isahog sa sinigang

2007-05-01T12:00:00.000+08:00

Asi Taulava aka The Tallest Man I've Ever Seen in Person

2007-05-01T00:34:00.000+08:00

Me: (taps Asi's shoulder) Can we have a picture together?
Asi Taulava: Oh yeah sure! (puts hands around my shoulder and stooped down to my height)
Me: Oh no! Stand straight! I want them to see how tall you really are!
Asi: (smiles) Okay then. (stands a bit)
Me: (hugs him) You're really big. You're like the biggest person I've seen in my entire life!
Asi: Really?
Me: Yeah! Thanks for the picture.
Asi: No problem.

And he has this really hard abs too. Yes, I just had to hug him! He's like this big teddy bear!

*I look tanga in our picture. LOL

안녕하세요 레이 신생님!*

2007-04-27T10:41:00.000+08:00

I received this email 2 days ago. Last time I checked, I already resigned from my job as a teacher a long time ago. Jenny doesn't get it.

*Ahn-nyeong-ha-seyo Lei San-saeng-nim! (Hello Teacher Lei!)

The paaaaiiiiinnnnnn!!!!!!!! + UPBM trail run

2007-04-25T23:11:00.000+08:00

Me: Let's just go to Bohol. Boracay is so overrated.
Friend: Super hot kaya dun?
Me: Dude, anywhere outside Baguio is hot.

Lemme just say: (in a Jamaican accent)It's so freakin' hot man! I know, a lot of bloggers have been ranting about the crazy weather and now I'm joining their bandwagon.

I looked at my dresser this afternoon and realized I need to go shopping because *almost* all my clothes are not "summer material." You would get what I mean if you live or lived in Baguio City where a 33 degree weather is a myth and one's cabinet should be filled with clothes which can get you through the subtle heat in the morning but can still shelter you from the cold at night.

I even had a cold shower this noon because I can not bear the heat. This is a feat because there are only a few people who can tolerate the icy Baguio water when taking a bath. Trust me, it's really, really cold. And ever since my family moved here six years ago, this is the first time I've done it. (Kaya sige na, kunwari ang galing ng nagawa ko..LOL)

According to Yahoo! Weather, we have a temperature high of 25C. Seriously? It's just 25C and I cannot stand the heat already! I'll probably die if I go to Manila or Tuguegarao. I'll look like a roasted pig siguro! I can just imagine the heat. Eeek! I can feel the sun on my back.. God I'm so OA! Haha!

Please, God, let summer go quickly. Or at least keep Baguio cool. ^.^

*****************

I was supposed to run on this race because I'm a Greenpeace member and my friend, Maika, who is the president of UP Baguio Mountaineers asked me to (I think mostly because it will be entertaining for her part to see me run. Hehe).

Hello? Do you want me to die? I climb 4 flights of stairs and my heart is racing like a horse on amok and you want me to run a 14k course? And it's not on flat land! So I decided to save my life and just slept through Earth Day. Too bad though, Maika was almost certain that I would get this medal if I join the race:
It's a turtle if you can't make it out.

Winner!

2007-04-22T01:49:00.000+08:00

(Yesterday was UP Baguio's commencement exercises and two of my good friends, Kubi and Maika finally wore their sablays. Shout out to the two of them!)

Anyway, what this post really is about Maika's very cute 10 year-old niece, Shayne, when she attended her tita's graduation. She made the following comment when the emcee started calling out all the laudes in their batch (eg Juan dela Cruz, cum laude; Pedro Penduko, cum laude; Nena Corpuz, cum laude; etc.):

Tita, ang dami namang may apelyidong 'cum laude'!

Winner, 'di ba?

Lines

2007-04-21T11:58:00.000+08:00

I hate people who cut into lines. It is very unethical and at the same time disrespectful. Have you ever been in a situation where you've been standing in a queue for the longest time and then out of nowhere, friends of the person in front of you cuts in. Or when you are waiting for a taxi in the middle of the night, wanting so bad to go home because you're tired from work, when a group of raucous teenagers hurriedly pass you by to take the taxi you've been eyeing even when it was 100 meters away.

The other day, I was at NSO (National Statistics Office) fixing my birth certificate. I was on the last step of the process and was just waiting for the NSO guy to come back to his window so I can give my documents. When he finally did, I slipped my papers through his window. As I was slipping my papers in, suddenly out of nowhere, a hand holding some papers squeezed next to my hands wanting that his papers be taken first by the NSO guy. I looked at the person who owned the damned hands (apparently a man who looks way older than I am, probably in his late twenties) and told him in a *slightly* elevated tone "Excuse me! I was here first! Tanggalin mo yang kamay mo kung hindi puputulin ko yan!"

He quickly did and turned around towards the exit, with a very red face. The NSO guy was laughing so much and said "Ang taray mo naman, Miss. Sige dahil dyan, instead of getting your paper done in two hours, 30 minutes na lang. Baka putulin mo din kamay ko."

I just smiled and later on found what happened really, really funny. I saw the guy enter the office again after about 10 minutes and couldn't bring himself to look at me. The guy seriously didn't have any balls.

*insert devil laugh here*

Batista for Mayor and other local election yaddas + Virginia Tech massacre

2007-04-18T15:19:00.000+08:00

The local election race here in Baguio City is very interesting. I have learned from this website that Baguio has nine mayoralty candidates. Of them, I know six: Peter Ray Bautista, Braulio Yaranon, Leandro Yangot, Bernie Vergara, Elmo Nevada, and Jun Labo.

**Ryan, a good friend of mine, saw a series of tampered Bautista campaign posters in one of Baguio's streets. Someone who had nothing better to do erased the letter 'U' in Bautista's name, which now reads as Batista for Mayor. As in this Batista. =)

**Yaranon maybe is the oldest Mayor who governed a place where I actually lived. He was supended a year ago and was replaced by Batista, I mean Bautista. I most remember Yaranon as wearing turtle necks, at least during the times when I see him on TV or at City Hall. Because of that, we often joked that he has a tracheostomy tube in place.

**Yangot. Hmmm where do I start? All I know is that this is his wife. Oddly enough, the couple were both front liners in demanding retakes for cheating-marred exams.

**Vergara and Nevada do not look good on each of their campaign posters. Vergara does not know how to smile and Nevada looks very much drunk. Will post photos soon.

**Labo, oh Jun Labo. I wish I could tell him he'll never win however he tries. He runs election after election. When will he ever tire?

*****************

Hey, look who we have here running for councilor:

Isn't he the one in most action films playing as the bad guy? Yung laging kasuntukan ni Robin Padilla.

And this guy...
...scares the hell out of me. This is Jack Cariño. I find his campaign tagline "Stop the 'uglification' of Baguio!" very ironic. Can you guess why? =) He takes great photos, by the way.

*****************

Imagine if this happened here in the Philippines. RIP to all those innocent souls who fell victim to Cho Seung-hui's violent outburst.

This brings to mind a 10 year-old South Korean kid, Shane, who became a student of mine when I was still teaching. He was shy and polite around teachers but little did we know he bullies everyone to their terror. He once locked himself and another kid in the bathroom and beat the shit out of him. The student had a broken nose that needed surgery. He also sort of jabbed a stick in the throat of another innocent student that caused stitches. I also heard from the other students that he extorts thousands of money from them.

No single student said a word about these until he was on his scheduled plane back home to Korea. When the teachers asked why they didn't tell anyone what was happening, they all had one answer: they were scared because Shane told them if they were to squeal anything, he'd hurt them bad.

Tsk.

Not funny

2007-04-17T21:43:00.000+08:00

Unfortunately, I am one of the controversial passers of the June 2006 Nurse Licensure examinations who were asked to retake portions of the said examination for "employability" to the United States of Africa. Errr.. I mean America. But being the brave little girl that I am, I decided to just give up my marred June '06 license in favor of a new one (read: I voluntarily am retaking the whole exam).

Off I went to PRC this afternoon to register. All seemed to be fine, until...

PRC Guy: Bakit ganito itong birth certificate mo?
Me: Ha? What do you mean po?
PG: Ito o. Yung gender mo. Male (as in boy) ang nakasulat.
Me: *shock mode* Patingin nga ho. *looks at the paper in horror* Oh my God!!!

So there it was. All my life I used that birth certificate for everything and all things legal it was only now that I saw that *gulp* error. I tried to make pa-cute to the PRC guy to just let it go since the last time it was okay (read:they did not notice it). But he was firm and said that they may have overlooked it last year.

My friends are laughing at my misfortune and all started questioning me if I was really a girl.

Texts from friends:
Sabi ko na nga ba bading ka eh! LOL
Pa'no mo narealyz? D ncheck dti sa prc? Check m pag may birdie ka. hahaha

It's not funny kaya!

*edited

The mean, fat, bald, ugly guy

2007-04-17T10:33:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday, I met with my college friends because we haven't seen each other for the longest time. We had dinner and then decide to just lazy around in Melissa's "pent house" apartment and drink. We bought booze and a couple of chichirias at 7-11 Session Road.

It was only a few minutes past 9 in the evening and already there were no available cabs around (None of them brought any of their cars. What a sick universal conspiracy joke, really.). After grueling 15 minutes of waiting, we walked from 7-11 up Session road for about 100 meters. Still, there were no taxis. We were getting a bit irked because there's this bunch of noisy Koreans who just came out of a restaurant and after 5 minutes, luckily, a cab stopped in front of them to let down a passenger. And we were waiting there for almost 25 minutes already!

After 10 more minutes (which means we have been there out in the cold for a good 35 minutes... the ice we bought was already melting and we could've sworn we would only take home ice water.), a cab *finally* stopped in front of us. And because we're dead tired and happy that after eons of waiting we have snatched a cab, we went "woohoo!" and one of us jumped ecstatically, too.

Two guys from the back went out first and I was ready to go in when the third one (the mean, fat one!) said "Ahh.. dito na ba kayo?" (talking to the other guys who went down already). The two guys quizzically looked at him. "Sige, aalis na kami. Dito na pala kayo eh," he continued. One of the two guys said "Oy, pare ang gago mo. Halika na, may sasakay."

But the fat guy just closed the door and motioned the driver to go. The two guys were still saying "Ang gago talaga nun" (referring to the fat guy). My friends and I were like really depressed because we thought that we were finally getting a cab. It was like the saying "Pera na naging bato pa."

Then all of a sudden, the cab with the mean, fat guy stopped mere 50 meters away from us and he got down! Ay grabe, nag-init talaga ulo ko! That asshole! He deliberately did not get down in front of us so we, the kawawa people who have been standing there for 35 minutes, holding our groceries and melting ice, will look MORE kawawa. So I shouted "Tarantado!"

"Aawayin ko 'to!" I said and was already ready to walk towards the guy. I was to show this mean guy who he is messing around with. I'm tired but I can still make bangas! But then my friends stopped me saying that it would just make matters worse and that we were mostly girls and that Ryan (the only male) would be in big trouble since there is a good chance they would go after him kasi nga he's the only male. I said no, I would still go after him and hello, we're in freaking Session Road! With a lot of freakin' people! The fat guy can't hurt us.

But still, they didn't want me to make a scene so they egged me to just let it go.

But I was still shouting obscenities and had my arms crossed and looking at him. The fat guy's friends were a bit guilty looking at us and were muttering something to him. And the fat guy looked at me and I said "Gago!" Just then my friends pulled me closer to them saying 'stop it'.

Arrrghh!!! I hate that fat guy! I also hate the fact that my friends stopped me from confronting him! He could've received some major scolding. He ruined my night. That asshole!

Anyway, after 40 minutes, we finally got a cab. Until we reached our destinations, I can't let go of what happened.

That guy was so mean! He deserves to die a painful death. And when he's dead, he'll spend all eternity in hell waiting for a cab in the middle of the desert and every time he sees one, a person will suddenly pop out of nowhere before him and will flag it down and ride it. If I see him again, I swear to God he'll pay.

The Long weekend

2007-04-11T22:12:00.000+08:00

Potipot Island

Aside from the poor service at the resort we stayed at coupled with bad food and the long and arduous travel from Baguio to Candelaria, all went fine with our short Lent vacation. I hope you guys had a restful holy week too, and a meaningful one for all the Christians out there.

*****************

Here's something I found in Pia Magalona's (Francis M.'s pretty wife) blog. Really cool...

Holy Weak

2007-04-04T21:15:00.000+08:00

I'm almost done packing for my trip to Zambales with Arcie, Irving and Ronson tomorrow. (Read entry below.) I made some last minute shopping and had a headache. Yes, a headache. Which, I thank the heavens above, did not progress to migraine. What caused this headache, you may ask?

Aside from the heavy traffic downtown, senatoriables from Team Unity roamed around Baguio today, having the mountainous city as their last pit stop before resting from all the ~~lying~~ campaigning they are doing. Banners of an ex-Spice Boy, a person wanting to be "planted" in the senate (the dumbest tagline ever), an actor who I think clearly was just dragged in this whole bonanza, another ex-Spice Boy with disturbing orthodontics, a dancing lady whose sorry came six years too late (a very showbiz-like stunt) and a Jueteng Lord in denial were splashed all over and jingles from novelty songs of all sorts were reverberating throughout the small city-- which I really really hated.

I think Philippine politics have completely turned upside down. Artistas want to become pulitikos the the latter turning out to be faux artistas in stupid (often funny and hard to believe) campaign commercials on TV. We live in a funny country with clowning politicians. I mean, c'mon. Itanim sa senado??? My 3 year-old nephew can do a more sensible and appropriate campaign ad.

This is the first time that I will be voting, since I was only 17 the last time. One could just imagine the idealism oozing out of me. So you would understand why those people do not really appeal to me.

Anyway, I hope all of our local & national post-seekers, together with us voters can reflect over the next few days. Because we seriously need people who can lead us to a better Philippines. Need I say more?

*******

This is the funniest thing ever. I loved 300 by the way. It's raining men talaga! Haha!

The most promising summer ever

2007-03-29T20:12:00.000+08:00

I have been ranting that I need, must even, a vacation for the longest time. And now, I think I am finally getting my much-needed time off.

There is that Holy Week getaway with high school pals Arcie, with her boyfriend Irving, and Ronsie to Zambales. We are planning to island hop from Potipot to Capones Island. Then there is also the plan of heading to Subic for.. dinner. LOL. We're practically going "backpacking" in Zambales!

And since I heard Capones Island is sooo beautiful, I egged one of my work friends, Maika, to camp there (tents and all!) on the weekend following Holy Week. (Yes! Just mere 5 days after my first one.) We even invited her Korean student, Free, to come with us. I'm excited for this trip because I *never* camped before. If I ever did, it was during my Girl Scout days and we just stayed in classrooms. Boring. So I'm really looking forward to this oh-so-close-with-Mother-Nature trip.

I can almost smell the ocean!

Maika is also making me agree to a trip to Thailand or Indonesia. Maika is such a fan of temples and mountains (she is a mountaineer afterall..) and everything and anything old and "environmental" so we are just limiting our choice of countries with either temples or mountains. Domestic airline tickets are unbelievably cheap nowadays! So Maika (again) is inviting me to a trip to Bohol. Kumusta naman, panay ang bakasyon!

Wait! There's more!

Since it will be one of my closest friend's birthday at the end of the month and her mother is somewhere in Australia by that time, we are also planning of celebrating it with an out-of-town trip.

All these in between my review for the NCLEX and Local Board retake. But really, ever since I entered college and even when I graduated, I didn't have any time for a respectable vacation! Plus I have been through too much stress for the past few days. I need a break.

Hopefully, all these will push through. Oh God I'm so excited!

Product of a Migraine attack

2007-03-22T21:55:00.000+08:00

I came home tonight in a depressed mood with a throbbing migraine. I wanted to cry and shout and laugh and slit my wrist all at the same time but I was in such pain to do any of it. Instead, I opened my computer and checked my email; a thing any i-can't-live-without-internet person with physical limitations would do, defying the laws of Abraham Maslow.

And there it was. A chain e-mail from you. Even though I loath chain e-mails, I made exceptions, since this one was from you. I excitedly read it. It turned out to be one of these. It wasn't funny. But I laughed. People should not reply to chain mails. But I did. And then I thought to myself 'Shit'. Because I'm supposed to be over you.

But I'm not.

Green revolution

2007-03-09T21:41:00.000+08:00

Today, I went to UP Baguio to attend my first Greenpeace Orientation. My friend, Maika, who is the incumbent president of UPBM (UP Baguio Mountaineers) invited me since they were the once who organized the event.

I signed up to be a volunteer for Greenpeace and we (well, technically, they) were planning to set up the first ever Greenpeace South East Asia local chapter group (which, by the way, according to the speaker will be historical since it will be the first in this region) here in Baguio City. How cool is that?

I learned a lot in the orientation and still learning more through reading the contents of their website. I encourage everybody to join Greenpeace and be advocates of the environment and Earth in general. Because we need to take care of our home not only for us but also for the generations to come so they may experience breathing clean air, swimming in unpolluted waters and living in an environmentally-safe world.

Nostalgia

2007-03-06T22:14:00.000+08:00

The Sun Sets Up North
*a post from the now defunct Technicolored Sunset (a blog I used to own)

i am a brat. i have always found ways to getting what i want. i have always succeeded in conquering the feelings of others in my “guilt-free” way and had always found myself content with the way things are at the end of the line. i could have all the things i want, but not him. never him.

and for that, i have decided to stop wishing upon all hopes that the dieties would bestow a wondrous gift that is mutual love. i shall convince myself it was not love, that i am not in-love. it was a sweet but insignificant meeting, that i only romanticized as a grand love affair in my mind. i would stop staring at him to encode his entirety in my brain until the time i would see him again. i would cease to look up in the sky to wait for a shooting star so that i could wish (and ask in pity) if the man of my dreams can get me out of my solitute.

i would stop thinking of his precious smile– the kind of smile that comes not from watching comedy shows but the kind that comes from finishing a work on his computer and watching people fall for practical jokes. i would accept that there is a person out there whom he loves and loves him in return, and that i could never level with her. i will start to convince myself that it was not injustice not to have him although i loved him so much for so long.

yes. i shall forget him. i shall forget the make-belief world i have created as a sanctuary for the love story that will never happen. i shall forget that when he enters the room, my eyes light up like an incandescent bulb. i shall forget how my heart races everytime he comes out of the curb unexpectedly. i shall forget how tounge-tied i get everytime he speaks to me.

i shall forget how much i adored him for no reason at all. i shall forget the happiness i feel everytime he smiles at me or when i hear his voice over the next room. i shall stop waiting, not because i am tired but because i know the answer already– i was just too blind or maybe to proud to recognize it. and most of all, i shall forget that i ever met him.

the last glance, i have already let the wind take it away and blow it somewhere else. the sun has set and in the darkness, i am in my solitude again. however, i am not sad. it was said that although angels weep, they learn how to smile too. and i have, even without his memory.

Chopseuy

2007-03-06T19:21:00.000+08:00

I'm officially jobless.

I resigned from work about four days ago and when I handed my resignation letter (which, by the way, is very, very emotional haha!) to my boss, he jokingly said "I decline". But, as I have said in my letter, "I have to realize my personal and professional dream by pursuing my nursing career". Eklat. Which basically means I am going to review for my NCLEX-RN exam. AND THIS STUPID RETAKE SHIT.

I miss working, though. I went to my workplace today and it kinda felt nostalgic. Wow naman, diba. As if I left eons ago. =p Anyway, it was really quiet and one teacher said it is such because, me, the "maingay" one, is already gone. And the decline in the number of students strongly warrant this observation. LOL. I hung around the kids for a couple of minutes and they kept on asking when am I going back to teach. I reluctantly answered "I don't know" although I already know the answer. I am already keen on getting a job as a nurse, for real this time. Because I feel like I bummed around for so long. Although technically, I had a job. But I seriously need to find a job as a nurse.

So for now, while waiting for the NCLEX-RN review to start, I am burning my time by sleeping (I think I'm getting too much of this) and watching sappy movies (read: Korean movies). It's all good. *grin*

***********

There's a mouse in my room. Well, hoping it is only MOUSE not MICE. I'm scared as shit so I have to sleep with the lights on. I rationalize this being there is light and the mouse will prefer to stay in dark places away from my eyes. Which eventually will give me peace while sleeping (read: Images of the mouse running on my bed, or, worse, walking on my body! eeeeeek!).

Suddenly remembered one of my friend's friend (who also happen to have a mouse problem in her room) saying that she *thinks* the mouse is too intelligent because it walks around the trap she made! *gasp!* And, there's more! The mouse is able to get the food in the center of the trap... without falling for the trap! *double gasp!*

If that happens to me, I seriously will need counselling for the rest of my life.

***********

Panagbenga 2007 is *finally* over and all the people of Baguio City can go back to their normal, pre-Panagbenga lives.

Didn't go to any concert or street party though. Although Hale, one of my all-time favorite bands (obviously because of Champ mwahehehe) had a free concert. I think I'm getting too old for that (God, what am I sayin? I'm only 20!). Plus, I don't want any part of my body rubbing against *dirty* people. Hahaha!

Comment: Session Road in Bloom (where Session Road actually closes for vehicle traffic) was far organized this year. Yey for the people in charge of the whole Panagbenga 2007.

***********

My blog is so deserted. I changed blogs so very often that I lost ~~track of~~ readers. Anyway, I'll advertise my blog once again to the madlang people na lang. For your info, whoever you are reading this, I used to own http://technicoloredsunset.blogspot.com but I took it off the internet because... well... uhmmm... it's too personal. Haha! Then wordpress didn't work out for me and I wasn't able to direct everyone to my new URL.

So please, sweetie, do me a favor... let others know about my blog. Because I'm an attention-whore. Haha! ^_^ And link me!

Kisses. (^.^)

Say Chiz!

2007-02-27T22:15:00.000+08:00

Support Francis "Chiz" Escudero! Join Team Chiz!
Log on to http://www.chizescudero.com/ for more details.

CHIZ ESCUDERO for SENATOR

Kanta Para Kay Kris Aquino Sa Desisyong Manatiling Asawa ni James Yap

2007-02-25T21:49:00.000+08:00

*But I personally think she is better being a single mom. For life. :)

Samgyupsal on my mind

2007-02-24T18:02:00.000+08:00

Mashitta!~~

Samgyupsal is another popular Korean meat dish. It consists of pork bacon, served in the same fashion as galbi but there is no marinating involved. Sometimes it is cooked on a grill with kimchi, mushrooms, garlic, onions and consumed together. This dish is usually served with a side of lettuce, spinach, or other leafy vegetable(s), which is used to wrap a slice of cooked samgyupsal. A dab of ssamjang (usually made of kochujang or dwenjang), kimchi, or other side dishes are also added and then eaten as a whole.

Source.

Something New

2007-02-23T11:23:00.000+08:00

I have been listening to foreign music (not just English) a lot lately. My iPod has more foreign music than English and Filipino music combined! Ha!

It all started with having Korean songs (KPop to be exact. Also helped me in speaking Hangul^^) in my iPod because some of my students want to listen to them during breaks. *They can't listen to their mp3 players during weekdays. Stupid rule, I know.* They have such catchy tunes, you know. Surprisingly, almost all their words end in a vowel. Trivia. *wink*

Then after visiting KC's blog, I was hooked on French music. From Gilbert Becaud to Air to Tina Arena (yes, she just released an all-French album! And she's Australian!). French pop is ultra suave and the language itself is so damn romantic to listen to!

I also got around in downloading Indian music after hearing this song because of the intro music (but it is an English song. Download and listen to the song!). And then I realized that not all Hindi songs start like that. LOL.

I love JPop because I've always had a thing for Japan. They are almost similar with KPop but JPop I think is more bold. (To think that most Korean artists also release Japanese albums, in Japan of course. Although most Koreans do not like to be associated with Japanese people or culture.) And this mysterious guy rocks my imaginary Japanese world. *sigh*

Speaking of rock, I also have a line-up of Rock en Español music. Some artists are really good. Man, I could feel the heavy bass grooves and the guitar playing is awesome. I highly recommend for the rockers out there.

I love it when people borrow my iPod and totally have blank looks on their faces when they browse thru my playlists. But I also love it when they appreciate good non-English music.

So, can you suggest any good foreign music? Dutch? Portuguese? Segalese?

Changes

2007-02-18T19:17:00.000+08:00

A different kind of Valentine

The empowering effect one feels when educating any child lies in the simple truth that the real joy of it is not the moments you have embraced but rather moments etched in their hearts when you had allowed them to embrace you.

Because I have been single my entire life (or so I'd like to think. I do not wish to count that affair. Or that other affair, for that matter.), the 14th of February isn't really worth celebrating. It is just a day like any other day... and I would spend it as such. This year, however, is quite different. No, I didn't go out on a date with a guy I fell grotesquely in-love with. Instead, I spent most of the day with my little (in their own right) angels.

Because it is that time of the year again when we have to bid them adieu, we held a mini Valentine cum Farewell Party. Forget the fact that I was sore many days later for holding the video cam up the entire time (no freakin' tripod. Man!) or for running around in my *gulp* pumps taking pictures (and occasionally posing for one). It was only this Valentine that I felt a different kind of feeling: fulfillment. Fulfillment because we send these students off knowing that they carry parts of us from then on forever because we have become their teachers.

When you teach a child, everything becomes different. You begin to be more patient, more understanding, and kinder than usual. You will be tolerant of all childish monstrosities. You will be keen on their needs, not only academically but also emotionally. Soon after, you, too, becomes a child-- laughing over the silliest jokes or dreaming with wide eyes again. You will be inflicted of innocence adulthood once robbed from you. Your concept of love changes.

I spent the day with the kids and the night with new found friends. Friends who'd rather laugh away the silliness of the occasion than wallow the plight of being single. I got tons of chocolates from the kids, too. Somehow, they tasted better than those chocolates given by long lost boyfriends.

Campaign Material

2007-02-16T08:33:00.000+08:00

*We've got Dennis Trillo... sweet. ^_^

Sun-kissed

2007-02-05T19:13:00.000+08:00

The cold days are finally over, and I could breathe again. At least for now. The heaven has opened a fireplace and the sun kissed the ground once more, attempting to compensate for the few days it wasn't seen and felt. The sun magically revived everything it touched. The trees appeared greener and insects popped like ideas everywhere-- loving every bit of warmth the sun could bestow in the little time it playfully danced in the sky. It was a beautiful concinnity of sight and feelings.

At work, everything is the same. The kids run around like wild animals and us like hairy fairies with lethal wands trying to tame the beasts in them. I would have loved to just lay down on the grass and stare at the clear sky for the whole day. Then I realized that I have to work. Because if I don't, I won't get paid. And if I won't get paid, I won't have money to pay for everything that is not free. Adult stuff is far complicated that I expected.

But still, I enjoyed the sun. All is good at the end of the day.

there is no such thing as forever

2007-02-05T19:11:00.000+08:00

dear love,

it could have been you. it could have been. we adored one another beyond the comprehension of man. beyond all that is and all that could ever be. the sun and the moon in unity, minus the eclipse. the coffee tasted good and it was better with you. your touch emancipates a rage only you could control, to which i gladly succumbed. a night in your arms amounts to forever and a million light years.

but love, we must accept that there is no such thing as forever. and light years only apply to the universe and space above us.

she came. you discovered cafe au lait was better than an espresso. let it be decided that the sun shall remain in the center of the solar system and the moon shall only reflect its light. in a perfect world, I shall understand that the affiliation we had transcends love itself.

let me gather the life that had been. let me appear audacious as i do this. let the nimbus clouds form and precipitate a storm. let the heaven weep for a lost.

however, it shall not weep forever.

(from the now defunct Technicolored Sunset)

the stare comes to an end

2007-02-05T18:48:00.001+08:00

your hand is
in my hand
but also
in hers.

clouds precipitated over us. but we didn’t move. i didn’t mind. we had been catatonic for the past 10 minutes–silent and unchanging. but really, there are no words to speak and nothing left to do. nothing. it was as if time purposedly stood still, waiting for either of us to say anything before it resumes. i watch you breathe. trying to count how much breaths more are you going to take before your lungs squeeze out the words i am waiting and wanting to hear.

i suddenly felt tachycardic. it was a premonition. this is it.

you talked about that certain somebody. the sound of the rain against the pavement was surprisingly more interesting than that. you negotiate a friendship. a friendship, that unfortunately, would only be left flaccid. the kind of friendship that results from a bad love affair. which it really is.

they say good things never last. they must have meant happiness at the expense of others.

(from the now defunct Technicolored Sunset)